Monday 6 May 2019

05/05/19 Otherlife (2017)

A stunningly attractive sciencebrain lady invents some magic eyedrops that turn your brain into a full immersion virtual reality set. A bit like the wire hats in Strange Days, but slightly more silly.

Anyway, shady corporate dealings mean she finds herself sentenced to a year in mind prison becoming a guinea pig for her own invention.

She then has to escape her virtual/mental prison and find out who framed her and why.

Not too bad and asks a few interesting ethical questions without being at all 'weighty'.

And she really is very attractive.


05/05/19 I'll Take Your Dead (2018)

Pretty decent horror/crime effort about a chap who subsidises his farm's meagre earnings by disposing of the bodies of people killed by shady criminal folk.

His young daughter sees, or thinks she sees, the restless spirits of the victims whose remains Pops has put in the incinerator/recycling bin.

Aside from the spooky presence of dead criminals, it's all going fairly well until one of the bodies presents a problem by still being a non-dead, living person.

By no means amazing, but it has a uniqueness that the genre is so frequently lacking.

Good effort.

7.5/10


05/05/19 Of Mice And Men (1992)

A film set in the near future of 2028 where unregulated genetically modified crop growing (originally produced on a huge global scale for the noble cause of finally eradicating world hunger) eventually creates Frankenstein growth in the field mammals that feast on it.

With their increased size comes a proportionate intelligence and they collectivise into loosely structured, but well connected, guerrilla armies to preserve what they now consider to be their food supplies.
This sparks a long and bloody global war between the humans and the rodent warriors.

The battle scenes are as intense as they are graphic. There are clever touches such as the rats being utilised as night time attack battalions, their black fur being barely perceptible in the dark.

The rodent forces commander, voiced brilliantly by Ben Kingsley issues his furious squeak-orders in a way that is both chilling and oddly believable. His second in command, a battle scared Chipmunk is equally impressive, voiced by Nicole Kidman.

Don't be fucking daft. It's an adaptation of the Steinbeck book. Podd watched it, I didn't. Surprised I haven't seen it though as I thought the book was fantastic when we read it at school.

I think my version could also be the absolute tits though.

The rodents would win.








Sunday 5 May 2019

05/05/19 We Die Young (2019)

Another Johnny Clyde DamnDamn film where he gets past his limited range by not speaking.

Literally so as he plays a character who had his voicebox aggressively removed in a war and now can do little more than wheeze his intentions.

Anyway, he tries to help two young brothers escape from the street gang life that threatens their well-being.

Not bad for what it is, but takes a cocking age for anything to happen, and then is pretty flat when it does.

4/10


04/05/19 The Darkest Hour (2011)

Blood-free invasion horror where alien pixel-wisps decide to kill all humans for, er, some reason or other.

Meh.


03/05/19 Robocop (2014)

I didn't watch this, Podd did. Seen it before though and I actually thought it was more enjoyable than the reviews suggested it'd be.

Aah well.

Anyway, Robocop in this one and the original, retains some of his original biology, caged in protective titanium. As all living things require nutrients to survive, and expel waste, he'd surely have a little chute from which he can release a RoboPlop.

**Gets coat**

"Yeah, a little puddle of oil with some sweetcorn in it."

Friday 3 May 2019

02/05/19 I Trapped The Devil (2019)

A Fellow tries to convince his brother and sister-in-law that he's managed to capture the devil and locked him in the basement of his home.

Slow paced, dialogue heavy, well acted. All things, if I'm honest, I wasn't in the mood for last night. I was too tired to use thinkybrain.

Possibly very good, but perhaps not.

It'll prob turn up on The Horror Channel at some point and I can take more notice of it then.

Ta.


01/05/19 Teen Wolf (1985)

Is this film a bit obscure now? It was a surprisingly big hit in its day, although that was 34 years ago. Whilst watching it, we noticed that it doesn't really get mentioned in any '80s culture reference stuff.

Probably because it is a bit shit when you watch it now.

Harmless enough fluff though.

01/05/19 The Fear Footage (2018)

A found footage anthology effort about various supernatural things.

Suspension of disbelief is required when watching stories about demonic clowns, murderous devil cults, haunted houses and suchlike. Fair enough, the evils of the real world are such that we can take macabre comfort in such tales.
However, this film is set in 2016, I don't care what fiction you put on screen for the most part, but trying to convince us that anyone still uses VHS is taking the piss, even if they are from imaginary Planet Spooky.

"Kneel before Grulack, Lord of the Theberis dimension!"

"The what dimension?"

"Theberis."

"What's that then?"

"A place of torment, damnation and suffering!"

"Like Hell?"

"Yeah, sort of, but we record everything onto VHS."

"So, your dimension is like visiting Britain in the '80s?"

"Yes. A bit. Have you, er, got any old DVD players hanging around that you don't need?"

"Fuck off, Grulack."

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8675532/
4.8/10