Wednesday, 20 February 2019

17/02/19 The Isle (2018)

Decent, old fashioned (in a good way) spooky film about three fellas who shipwreck on a semi-abandoned Scottish island inhabited by a small number of people reluctant to talk much about why they haven't left for a better life on the mainland.

The vibe reminded me of the original Whistle And I'll Come To You, no bad thing.

The end is a bit wobbly though and it could've done with being fifteen minutes shorter.

"Gladys, I can see you behind the tree. You're really shit at Hide 'n' Seek."

17/02/19 Us And Them (2017)

An angry young working class man has become sick of being fucked over by the system.

His factory job gone, the factory turned into high-end flats that the people who worked there could never afford.
The pub opposite the factory has gone from being a workers social hub to a sanitised gastropub.
The best him and his friends can now hope for is call centre jobs and enough money to get smashed on booze at the weekend.

He comes into possession of a phone belonging to a wealthy young woman. Scrolling through the messages and photos, he sees that her world is one of inherited privilege, the kind of affluence and comfort he will only ever glimpse through the heavy gates at the end of long driveways.

Him and two friends are angry at the imbalance of wealth in what is currently (subject to great change from the end of March) the world's fifth largest economy.
They don't want any kind of socialist utopia (I can dream, etc.), just a fair slice of the pie that they have arguably contributed more to than those who are receiving all the rewards.

They decide to take the family hostage and use them as an example that things have to change and the spiritually diminished, socially and economically abandoned working poor will start smashing the glass fences and be heard.

Fair fucking play to 'em.

However, best laid plans and all that, it starts going a bit bollock shaped.

It's a stylish, interesting, well made film that has something to say but, frustratingly, throws it away in an unsatisfying last third.

Still well worth a watch though.

The main character is played by Jack Roth, son of Tim. I'm glad to see he's inherited his Dad's ability to swear magnificently.


Tuesday, 19 February 2019

16/02/19 Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

I wasn't that fussed about seeing this. Never been a big Queen fan, just liked a few of their songs and could remember the majority of their biggest releases from the when they were in the charts.

Turns out the film's a lot of fun and, even if you're not a fan, there's a definite nostalgia factor for anyone who's formative years so often had this band's stuff playing as background music.

Monday, 18 February 2019

15/02/19 Destroyer (2018)

Critics are wanking in the daises about how great this film is. It's not. It's very average.

 A shame as the same director made the under seen and underrated film The Invitation.

Nicole Kidman plays a drunk cop who looks like Ron Perlman dying from malnutrition.

The characters are all very thinly drawn, the story is as dull as it is cliched, it mistakes a lack of levity for profundity, the twist is underwhelming and all the facial closeups feel like it's trying too hard.

"Watch! Watch me as I ACT!!!"

Meh. Up yer bollocks.


Friday, 15 February 2019

09/02/19 The Quiet One (2018)

Blimey! Half way through the month and we've only seen four films between us! That's a poor show.

Anyway, *puts on tactful hat* this film is not blessed with high production values or actors of great experience.
The main cast get by OK, but beyond that, well, good on 'em for trying.

If you want to watch an amateur effort about a fella beating up people in a Midlands pub than this is for you. If you want something less terrible, there's plenty of choices out there.

02/02/19 This Is The End (2013)

Podd watched this, I didn't.

Just as well as the thought of cunts like James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill and Danny McBride playing versions of themselves would make me want to kick my TV in the face.

I asked if it was a bit of a self-satisfied circle wank, she said it was a bit.

Thought as much.

02/02/19 The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

Mediocre comedy with Wacky Best Friend Syndrome.

How to write every American comedy film.

1. Main character must be cinegenic.

2. Main character must be blandly everyperson.

3. Main character must find themselves in unlikely situation.

4. Main character must have Wacky Best Friend. Someone with no impulse control, funny dress sense, lack of self awareness and absolute loyalty to main character that will be touched upon in inevitable scene when Wacky Best Friend briefly removes the clown mask to show the human vulnerability underneath.

5. Plot must be completely predictable from the first frame until the last.

What a load of fucking bumsense.