04/17 Prevenge (2016)

.A pregnant woman, under the spoken instructions of her unborn child, kills a number of people.

In fairness, they mostly deserve it.

Foetuses: wiser than you assume!

Hope the writer/director/star, Alice Lowe, does more horror. Got a knack for it.

Murderbaby/10

04/17 Time After Time (1979)

.H.G. Wells goes into the distant future of 1979 to catch Jack The Ripper.

Jolly good fun it is too.

7.7/10

04/17 Split (2017)

We watched this again as Podd didn't see it first time round.

Professor X's academy for gifted children had really small, dungeon-y beginnings.

7+/10

04/17 Small Crimes (2017)

.A bent, former addict and alcoholic disgraced plodcop gets out of prison and stumbles right back into the trouble that bollocksed his life up previously.

Has a supporting role from 'Plop fave Macon Blair.

Not too bad at all.

7.84/10

04/17 Sand Castle (2017)

.Film about soldiers in the 2nd Iraq war and what a pointlessly fucking pointless waste of everything, clusterwank it turned out to be.

Well, we knew that.

Still, it's well acted, the inevitable action scenes are decently action-y and we wasn't bored.

7.4/10

04/17 Ronin (1998)

.Crime film set in Paris. We spent most of the time wondering what French car would break down first.

7/10

Perkin

04/17 Rings (2017)

.Utterly pointless sequel to the mongingly (new word!) shite remake of the Japanese spookflick.

1/10

04/17 The Dark Tapes (2017)

.A fairly decent horror anthology effort.

Want more? Look it up on websites than can be bothered.

6.75/10

Perkin.

Look, they're all 'Perkin' unless stated otherwise. It don't make a bollock either way who claims authorship of this fucking nonsense. 

04/17 Stone Cold (Rifftrax) (1991)

.A film that does most of the heavy lifting for you if your job is taking the piss out of shit films.

Bosworth/10

04/17 Sleepless (2017)

.Not yet officially released, but leaked onto the usual streaming sites by internet scamps.

Anyway, it's a shit remake of a very good French film. Watch the original instead:

http://filmplop.blogspot.fr/2015/02/080215-sleepless-night-2011.html

4/10

04/17 Slasher.com (2017)

A film with no slashers or websites. Surprising, given the title.

Well, a bit of slashing.

It was shit but fun enough.

5.75/10

04/17 No Retreat, No Surrender (Rifftrax) (1986)

Rifftrax are three fellas who talk over a film, taking the piss out of it. Glad I started with this one as it's probably their funniest effort.

The film itself is much, much more terrible, and unintentionally funny, than I remember it being. In fairness though, I was prob in my early teens some thirty-odd years ago when I last saw this.

04/17 Savages (2012)

.Some drug selling young folk fall out with a Mexican cartel. Of particular note are the twin assassins played by Danny Trejo and Charles Hawtree.

I'm bored of writing this. 

5.98/10

04/17 Terminator Genisys (2015)

Slightly better than Terminator Salvation. But that's like saying getting punched on the dick is better than punched on the balls.

04/17 The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (2008)

I didn't watch this, Podd did. It's some ol' crap about Brad Pitt becoming the world's oldest baby or suchlike.

04/17 Carry On Behind (1975)

.Considered by many to be the finest film ever made. A thinly-veiled biopic of William Randolph Hearst, its innovative use of cameras, music and story structure have shaped cinema immeasurably since its release in 1941.

Matron!/10

04/17 Vengence: A Love Story (2017)

.Nicholas Cage continues his ascent to the throne as the be-wigged champion of mediocre, straight-to-video films with exhaustingly generic titles.

Praise be to the hairpiece king!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5460530

5/10

Perkin.

04/17 Smoking Guns (2016)

.Reviews have bigged this up for its 'authenticity' and naturalistic acting.

Personally I felt it was more like a shite hybrid of Guy Ritchie and Tarantino's worst nonsense without any of the stuff that makes their films (mostly) worth watching.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4422164

2/10

Perkin