Cult Of Chucky (2017)

The 58th film about the plastic deathmidget. Much better than numbers 17-52.

Happy Hunting (2017)

A boozy fellow finds himself in one of those small towns that only exist in films where all the townsfolk are involved in unlikely conspiritorial, murdery activities.

Still, must create a pleasant sense of a unified community during the periods of time they're not all out killing the innocent.

"Hello, Miriam, is Gary around? I want to borrow his lawnmower"

"Yes, Albert. He's just down the road burying that bus full of orphans in the patch of wasteground. I'll get him to pop it over when he's back."

"Lovely, ta."

Anyway, as unlikely as the plot is, I think we quite enjoyed this nonsense. You might too.

Then again, you might not. How am I supposed to know?

Baby Driver (2017)

A film where Kevin Spacey forces a young lad to do things he doesn't want to.

IT'S LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO TELL US ALL ALONG!

Also, the film's like an annoying pop video that goes on for two hours.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3890160/
4/10

The Houses October Built 2 (2017)

Thought we'd seen the first one, turned out we hadn't. Strangely enough, every Sptember/October, a good number of low/mid budget horror films with some seasonal Halloween theme get shat into cinemas and the internet's filmic abyss.

Annoyingly, I watch quite a few of them in the hope of finding those rare gems that are worth the effort. Most of them are crap or averagely mediocre, like this one. Not *bad*, at all, but just another horror film, watched and forgotten soon after.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt7068818/

Last Rampage: The Escape Of Gary Tison (2017)

Funny thing, films based on horrific true-life events.

"You remember that terrible thing that happened?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna re-live it, as if you was there, in great detail?"

"Yes please."

"Jolly good."

Anyway, this is based on the story of some guy who broke out of jail, murdered some innocent people, then met a fitting end. From what I remember, the acting was good and such, but again I question the validity of such flicks when they feel a little exploitative of real people's loss and suffering.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5833186

Killing Gunther.

Shite.

Ebola Zombies (2015)

Fucking hell, poor bastards. I imagine being a zombie's bad enough, but having a dose of twatting Ebola as well? What a kick in the penis.

I may not fully recall the delicately nuanced details of this incandescent, filmquake masterpiece, but this fills me with happiness as it will feel like such a fresh viewing experience when I watch it next time.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4207094/

Occupants (2015)

OccMYpants more like! Eh? Eh?

I dunno. Maybe not.

This film's about a lady who sets up some video cameras in her house that magically record an alternative reality where here and her husband also live in the same house but have slightly different furniture and stuff like that.

Again, it was quite a while ago we watched this, but I seem to recall it was a bit of a bum-dumpling.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3980310
Bum-Dumpling/10

Heckle (2013)

A peanut-budget Brit effort about a woman with a mundane life falls into doing stand up comedy and discovers she's got a skill for it.

It's likeable, got some good jokes and doesn't have any fucking superheroes in it. All things in its favour.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2463848/

The Hunted (2013)

Written, directed by and staring Josh Stewart, whos previous films always seem to involve him being trapped in a house belonging to a murderous loony, plays a fella who has dropped everything he has into starting a hunting TV show. The idea for its first series being his pursuit of a prize buck that lives in some isolated woods.

Things start going a bit spooky, y'know, noises, movements and shit like that.

Think it was half decent, but can't remember exactly.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3149900/

Serpico (1973)

For such a highly regarded film, this one's actually a bit dull. The true story it's based on is certainly interesting enough, but I reckon a good documentary may have served the story better. Perhaps there's been one. Dunno, can't be bollocksed to look.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070666

5.5/10

Actually an Authurian knight, his full name was Sir Pico.

Now You Know (2002)

Well blimey, it's been a while since we bothered with this nonsense I've got arseloads of films to put on here, so expect the entries from here until March to be a little vague as most of them were watched many months ago and the memory ain't what it used to be.

Anyway, Now You know is the directorial debut of the guy who played Randall (easily the most entertaining character) in Clerks (defining and brilliant) and Clerks 2 (terrible dogshit). It's a film about some underacheiving slackers who want more than they have yet lack the spirit to go and find it. Randall learned well from Kevin Smith as, like Smith's early films, this is reliant on natural sounding dialogue humour and situations that are slightly left-of-normal without being confusingly bizarre. Obscure, but worth a go if you like Smith's style of thing.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286855/

7/10

09/2017 Temple (2017)

People go looking for an ancient temple n Japan. Apparently we saw this but were drunk and don't really remember.

Booze fog/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4898730/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

09/2017 Anti Matter (2016)

Science bods mess around with wormholes which never goes well.

5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4881364/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

09/2017 Ghost House (2017)

Surprisingly not a film about a couple moving to a large spooky house after their child was tragically killed but about a couple on holiday in Thailand who meet a pair of dodgy blokes who lead them into upsetting a malevolent spirit.  Are there any kind of spirits apart from malevolent ones?  Spirits get an unfairly bad rap in films I think. There are probably friendly ones who do the washing up and sort out the recycling.

5.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4365566/?ref_=nv_sr_1

The spirit takes the form of a slightly annoying curtain.

Podd

09/2017 Kingsmen: The Secret Service (2014)

Reviewed previously here.  The church scene is still bonkers completely over the top fun.  Doubt anything in the sequel touches it but we'll see.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2802144/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Podd

09/2017 The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jordan Belfort, a real life rich prick who was both rich and a prick.  That said the film is enjoyable and reminded me in some ways of Catch Me If You Can where DiCaprio plays another real person with an unbelievable life. Worth a view if you haven't seen it, and the book is even better.

7.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0993846/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

09/2017 This Is England (2006)

A bullied schoolboy is befriended by a group of skinheads (mainly Woody played by the always excellent Joseph Gilgun) but things turn sour when somebody from their past appears on the scene again.

Shane Meadows' Dead Man's Shoes is strongly recommended to anybody who has yet to see it (and those who already have - it's worth another viewing).

7/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480025/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

09/2017 Death Note (2017)

High school student finds a possessed book (which comes with a demon as  a free gift) which gives him the power to kill people.

6.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1241317/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

09/2017 HereAfter (2010)

Three people across the world are affected by death in different ways, Matt Damon is the reluctant psychic who brings their stories together.

6.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212419/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_26

Podd

09/2017 Swiss Army Man (2016)

A man marooned on a desert island befriends a corpse which washes up on the beach and they go on an adventure to get home. Knowingly quirky and trying a bit too hard but enjoyable nonetheless (if you can handle farting corpses).  Think of a hipster Weekend at Bernies and you're about there.

Daniel Radcliffe isn't afraid to make some unusual role choices post-Potter. Good on him, he seems a decent likable fella.

6.75/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1785635/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

09/2017 The Vault (2017)

Siblings rob a bank but all is not as it seems. Woo, spooky.

5.75/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1785635/?ref_=nv_sr_1

09/2017 Pilgrimage (2017)

Spiderman and Shane from the Walking Dead take a relic across Ireland.

5.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3531202/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) Hickok (2017)

The Hemsworth who isn't the Thor or Hunger Games one plays Wild Bill Hickok.  It's not bad but it's no Carry on Cowboy.

5.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6334884/?ref_=nv_sr_1

(09/2017) Killing Hasslehoff (2017)

Not as bad as anticipated (such novelty films are usually terrible). A guy goes to extreme and unlikely measure to pay off a loan shark.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2967226/?ref_=nv_sr_1

5/10

(09/2017) X-Men 2 (2003)

The usual enjoyable nonsense. Most of them look noticeably younger.

6.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290334/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

(09/2017) Jackals (2017)

A family take back their son from a cult but the cult attack the house to get him back. Meh, he was a bit rubbish and they had another kid so should have just booted him out.

Some quite nasty homemade weapons feature.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6104206/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

5/10

(09/2017) It Comes At Night (2017)

Joel "In Every Film Now" Edgerton is holed up with his family in a remote home keeping safe from a mystery threat which randomly seems more infectious at night. Some strangers turn up and move in with them for a while. Stuff happens. All goes a bit wrong in the end.

5.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4695012/?ref_=nv_sr_1

(09/2017) The Box (2009)

Shit box more like

2/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0362478/?ref_=nv_sr_1

(09/2017) Jackass 3 (2010)

No description required really.  Instead I'll tell you Johnny Knoxville's real name is Phillip Clapp, Steve-O is from Wimbledon and Bam now looks like his fat dad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1116184/?ref_=nv_sr_3

They're nearly 50/10

(09/2017) The Dictator (2012)

Another solo Perkin view. Scored it 2/10 on imdb so couldn't have thought much of it. Sacha Baron Cohen is pretty shit for the most part.

2/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1645170/?ref_=nv_sr_1

(09/2017) Radical Jack (2000)

Perkin saw this and described it as a Billy Ray Cyrus version of Road House. Likely as bad as it sounds.  Also stars Dedee Pfeiffer, Michelle's sister, who made What Lies Beneath the same year. 2000 must have been an awkward Pfeiffer family Christmas.

Billy Ray Cyrus used to be known for Achy Breaky Heart and having bad hair, now he's known for being Hannah Montana's dad. And having bad hair.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212458/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_28

Mullets/10

Billy: "This is a better look than the mullet, right?"

The World: "No"

(09/2017) House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Perkin watched this, he might write a review.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051744/?ref_=nv_sr_2

(09/2017) An American Werewolf In London (1981)

This has been reviewed multiple times before as I watch it every time it's on.

10/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082010/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) Unlocked (2017)

Toni Collette has terrible hair in a film about a CIA interrogator being double crossed by everyone. It's actually quite dull.

4.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1734493/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Ryan Reynolds is a bodyguard hired to protect an important witness. Samuel L Jackson turns up as his nemesis from the past. All very unlikely but enjoyable in a slightly embarrassing way.

6.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1959563/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) I Am A Hero (2015)

Japanese zombie film following a manga artist who escapes to mount Fuji with a school girl (but not in a rum way). They end up meeting up with other survivors at a shopping mall. What is it about zombie apocalypses which makes everyone want to go shopping?

6.35/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3775202/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

 Podd

(09/2017) Bushwick (2017)

Texans invade New York trapping the big serious fella from Guardians of The Galaxy and an annoying girl who then try to escape.  The Texans are actually numerous, organised and have proper weapons, rather than being a couple of random stetson wearing Trump voters. Although they probably are Trump voters.

Co-written by Nick Damici who we are fans of.

6/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4720702/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) Savageland (2015)

Documentary style film investigating rum goings on in a town on the Mexico border. A man is accused of the murder of all its inhabitants but a roll of film tells a different story. 

A different take on the found footage genre and an above average effort.

7/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3899154/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Podd

(09/2017) ...And Then Everything Changed (2015)

Average zombie film following 5 separate people trying to escape Houston. Seem to remember the effects were ok.

5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5004134/?ref_=nv_sr_1