07/10/12 Looper (2012)

Time Bruce.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1276104

7/10

                                                                          Perkin.

06/10/12 Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

Written by the guy who made Paranormal Activity (a great film if you enjoy watching two dislikeable people sleeping), Oren Peli.

A group of annoying young people go on a tour of Pripyat, sit in a van then get attacked by actors in rags. Here's a brief extract from Mr Peli's non-Chernobyl diary:

7pm- Done a poo.
8pm- Watched The Descent. Great film!!!
10pm- Played Modern Warfare. I love the level set in Ukraine, it's my favourite.
10.45pm- Great idea for a film!!!
11pm- Cocopops.
11.15pm- Bedtime.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1991245/
3/10

Perkin.

04/10/12 Crawl (2011)

Boring Australian film about people in a small town where everyone walks very slowly.

It's a bit like the greatly superior Red Rock West, but at a much slower pace. Cobber.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1848832/
4/10

Perkin.

28/09/12 The Terminator (1984)

Everything else James Cameron has been involved in has been shit. Apart from Aliens, that was also excellent. Aside from those two he can fuck right off.

The majority of people shit on about Terminator2 being the superior film. Apart from Linda Hamilton's bloody great performance, it was awful. A two hour pop video of brightly lit bumwash. The complete opposite of the original Terminator which was dark in tone and lighting, had genuine tension, was leftfield for its time and an absolute career best for global embarrassment Schwarzengger, playing the terminator as a relentless, ruthless deathbot, unhindered by emotion or morals. In the second one he pretty much played a kindly, battery powered uncle. 

10/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088247/

Perkin.

27/09/12 American Pie (1999)

Always have a soft spot for this, some of the jokes still work, but the anxiety of virginity loss seems like a lifetime ago now. All the sequels were fucking shit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163651/
7/10

Podd.

23/09/12 Remains (2011)

Blah blah blah zombies and stuff.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1870527/
4/10

Perkin.

22/09/12 Stormbreaker (2006)

Silly old nonsense about some gay looking kid who's a bit like a YTS Jason Bourne.

Ewan McGregor's cameo ends with some very unlikely physics.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457495/
5/10

Perkin.