10/08/15 Glass Chin (2015)

Former boxer gets framed for a crime he didn't commit. Everyone has lots of dreary, mumbling conversations. Very little happens. Well, very little that held out interest.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1714843/
4.5/10

Perkin.

06/08/15 Safe (2012)

This currently on TV. We're too lazy to turn it over. It's not great. Our last 'Plop covers it:

http://filmplop.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/310512-safe-2012.html

Ta.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1656190/

Perkin.

05/08/15

I remember saying to my brother that by time this film came out, the Lethal Weapon series had pretty much turned into Happy Days with pistols.

Amazed Mel Gibson managed to do so many films with a black co-star. The silly, racist walnut.

As my brother pointed out back then, having Jet Li in the cast is a definite bonus, he does the fast kicky stuff very well. The rest of the film's fairly bollocks.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122151/

4/10

Perkin.

05/08/15 Hooked Up (2013)

Apparently the first feature film to be shot entirely on a cocking Iphone.

Hope it's the last.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3160020/

3/10

Perkin.

04/08/15 Escobar: Paradise Lost (2014)

A young Canadian fellow meets a Columbian girl and they fall in love. Turns out she's the neice of Pablo Escobar.

All is well for a while, but then the young chap starts to suspect Uncle Pabby might be a bit shady.

Reminds me of the great line of dialogue from Con Air: "If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust?"

Pablo Escobar is an anagram of Bear Polo Scab. Like if a bear grazes his furry knee playing polo.

Although only posh wankers play polo and I'm pretty sure those arseholes would shoot a bear for sport before allowing it to join theirs.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2515030/

6.5/10

Perkin.

04/08/15 The Ward (2010)

I watched this when it first came out. I was very excited that John Carpenter had come back to direct a horror film. I remembered being very disappointed and thinking that the film seemed to be a continuous series of slow moving corridor shots with nothing in the way of tension or peril.

Whaddya know, previous me was correct. If I ever get a time machine, I'll go back and tell him he was right. I'll probably tell him to get off his arse and watch less shit films as well.

And wank less.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1369706/

5/10

Perkin.

02/08/15 Extinction (2015)

I once read a description of Honda vehicles as "Reliable, good looking and capable but completely devoid of any excitement or soul".

I think Honda have started making zombie films.

5/10

Perkin.