--/09/15 Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Rarer than a four-quid note, a low budget horror comedy that's actually funny, at times very. No classic, but better than many that are considered such. Well worth a look if you want some silly nonsense to enjoy.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3487994/

8/10

Perkin.

--/09/15 The Lookout (2007)

Twat crashes car. His injuries make him go a bit brain-wonky so his promising sporting career is dropped in favour of becoming a dogsbody in a small town bank. Some people befriend him under false pretenses so that they have an inside man when they rob the place.

Considering what a bollocks they make of it they shouldn't have gone to all that effort.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427470/

7/10

Perkin.

--/09/15 Colombiana (2011)

Zoe Saldana has got a very nice arse. Something the makers of this film realised to their advantage, hence the numerous shots that linger on it in an attempt to make anyone watching it forget how terrible the rest of it is.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1657507/

4/10

Perkin

--/09/15 Contracted: Phase Two (2015)

Man turns slowly into a zombie. That's about it really. Not too bad. Might have to watch the original now.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4255110/

6.4/10

Perkin.

--/09/15 Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)

Play the games, they're much better. At least Rupert Friend looks less like an angry baby than Timothy Olyphant did in the last shit film.

Rupert Friend and Timothy Olyphant? Fucking hell, how much do those two sound like names a child has given his two favourite teddy bears? The next Hitman film (which will also be shit) has a high risk of having someone called Mr Pinkytoes or Eddy the Fluff Bear in the title role.

Actually, Eddy the Fluff Bear sounds more like he'd be in gay porn, but you get my point.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2679042/

2/10

Perkin.

--/09/15 Robert The Doll (2015)

Another low budget effort from writer/director Andrew Jones.

He's got the cast, crew and directing thing sharpened to quite a fine point now, he just needs to get someone else to write the stories as the plot is derivative ballsack. 

Still, as he appears to be releasing a new film every fifteen days or so, I reckon he'll be bashing out Citizen Kane by Christmas.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4141368/

5.2/10

Perkin.

--/09/15 Cube (1997)

Pube.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123755/
9.2/10

(It's one of  my favourite low budget films and not at all pube. I just like that word and they rhyme.)

Perkin.