--/11/15 American Ultra (2015)

Whiney arsewit with an encyclopedic collection of neuroses and flaws turns out to be a deactivated/sleeper super agent, like a pot smoking version of Jason Bourne.

No where near as good as the Bourne films which are cocking masterpieces. Apart from the fourth one, where it was that guy with the crumpled face instead of Matt Damon, that one was shite.

Not enough action to be exciting, not enough laughs to be a comedy, it sits in that bland, cinemogenized middle-ground like another fucking terrible Judd Apatow film that are beloved by undemanding, spoon-fed fuckwits who would probably be happy to spend two hours laughing at a fucking grapefruit if they were told to. Dicks.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3316948/

5/10

Perkin.

--/11/15 The Hoarder (2015)

Blimey, even horror films set in self-storage units seem to be a tired, 'done' idea now.

This is another one. Murder, people, storage, hamster, mutants. All the usual.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1891923/

5/10

Perkin.

--/11/15 Circle (2015)

A group of about forty people 'wake up' standing in a large circle without any awareness of how they got there. Each person stands on an illuminated spot. Once every ninety seconds or so, a pulsing column rises from the centre of the circle and shoots out a beam that kills one of the people. Through a process of fatal deduction, they work out that they have the collective power to vote for who gets killed next.

Basically, it's like a version of Fifteen-To-One where Sandi Toksvig murders the contestants.

(Note to self: Find out who to pitch gameshow ideas to on Sky/Channel 5)

Anyway, the whole group of people waking up in a strange place and working out why they're there thing has been done many times now. Best of which (in my humble) is the first Cube film, however this one ain't bad, if it sounds like your sorta thing, you'll probably enjoy it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3118452/

6.5/10

Perkin.

--/11/15 Awaiting (2015)

Some twattish, city-boy arsehole develops car trouble whilst out in the sticks and spends the night at a cottage belonging to a seemingly pleasant yokel and his daughter.

Of course, if that was the full plot of the film it'd be very uneventful. The makers were probably aware of that, so they decided to make things a little more interesting with bits of swearing, substance abuse, incest and murder.

That's a bit more like it. Who would wanna watch the first version? Some Tarquin ponce with Audi trouble spending the night under a thatched roof? No thank you!

Anyway, as you may have gathered, the yokel and his daughter aren't as pleasant as initially suggested and it all goes a bit wonky.

I was ready to dismiss it as another forgettable low budget Brit horror, but the last fifteen minutes put some real effort in and, in my humble, redeem it greatly with some actual horror and a great bit of soundtrack 'casting' that sets the mood very well.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3815430/

6.8/10

Perkin.

--/11/15 Experimenter (2015)

Pseudo-doc feature film about a Stanley Milgram, whose experiments were fascinating insights into human behavior and free will.

Sadly, the modern equivalent would probably be some fucking awful YouTube 'prank' channel.

Or some Buzzfeed style bollocks: 'We put ten unsuspecting members of the public in a conference room then claimed the building was on fire. You'll never guess what happened next. Participant 5's reaction is amazing'.

Fuck this, I'm off to live in a forest.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3726704/

7.7/10

Perkin.

11/11/15 The Hollow (2015)

Blimey, I haven't watched two films in a row with such close titles since my themed VHS evening of Massive Soapy Tits followed by Big Tits Covered In Soap back in '94. Aah, those were the days.

Anyway, in this one, three young sisters, (not Irish, no babies) are terrorised by some supernatural creature in the woods. Not bad for a TV horror film.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4472596/

5.8/10

Perkin.

10/11/15 The Hallow (2015)

Muddy wood creatures terrorise some Irish people and their infant offspring, O'Baby.

Very good until the last half hour which seemed to loose it's puff and just become people screeching and falling over in the woods whilst the mud-folk sorta scared them a bit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2474976/

7/10

Perkin.