Tries to be like an
updated version of Event Horizon. Fails miserably.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2769184/
3/10
Perkin.
Thursday, 12 May 2016
Term Life (2016)
Vince Vaughn plays a
man with hair so bad I suspect he is of Somerset ancestry. Forgettable
dullness.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2978102/
3/10
Perkin.
The Hatching (2014)
An alligator is
swimming around in Somerset killing people with terrible, terrible hair.
Possibly as a reaction to their woeful acting.
Justin Lee Collins
plays one of the characters, thank fuck this will almost certainly be one of
the last things he does that we can all forget about.
What a cunt.
3/10
Perkin.
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Woman crashes her car
then wakes up in a bunker whilst an unspecified event has turned the world
bollock shaped outside.
Or has it?
Perhaps the guy who
owns the bunker is a bit of a wrong 'un and just wants to keep a lady in a
bunker.
Watch the film and
find out.
Not really anything
to do with Cloverfield, which is good as this is definitely the better film.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179933/
7.7/10
Perkin.
Special Correspondents (2016)
Comedy with bits that
are occasionally funny. If you have a stronger tolerance of Ricky Gervais than
me, you'll probably enjoy it more than I did.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4181052/
6.7/10
Perkin.
Precious Cargo (2016)
This was so generic
I've forgotten almost everything about it. I dunno, guns, punching, probably a
car chase and someone who lives in a flat with an impressive view of a city
skyline.
1/10
Perkin.
Hail, Caesar! (2016)
The Cohen brothers'
films are like watching 100 minutes of concentrated Guardian articles. Not the
good ones, where they do actual journalism, but the old shite where some ponce
babbles on for five hundred words about how a new brand of ethical wristwatch
offers the wearer a connection with Inuit tribes or some bollocks.
As in any outwardly
good intentions are lost in the fog of self-satisfaction and lofty smugness.
So, yeah, if you'll
excuse me, I'm off to watch Zombie Tit-Robots 2 or whatever bollocks we sit
through.
Found our level. Shut
up.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475290/
3.5/10
Perkin.
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