--/07/16 Middle Of Nowhere (2008)

I didn't watch this, Podd did. She says it was "OK, quite good natured and not much happens."

Stay tuned for more in-depth reviews.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032817/

OK/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Army Of Darkness (1992)

The Evil Dead films are a fine example of (for want of a less wanky phrase) artistic dilution. The first one had a budget the size of a peanut, was made when people were available to get away from their real lives for a night or two and used inginueity and creativity to make a genuine classic of a horror film. One that's fun, well paced, original and actually scary.

The second one was essentially a remake of the first, but with slapstick comedy and clownish performances replacing the edge of the first one. "Here's some money, soften down all the things that made the original good so we can sell it to more people. We're aiming for the 18-49 Fuckwit Demographic."

By time this third film was made, the series had become some sorta cartoon for cretins.

Utterly awful.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106308

1/10

What a total shitpig.

Perkin.

--/07/16 Band Of Robbers (2015)

A low budget film based on the Huckleberry Finn stories that gets very close to hipster indie wankism but manages to stay on the right side by actually being quite funny and entertaining.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4048668/

7/10

Perkin.

--07/16 The Resident (2011)

Woman rents a flat. Her landlord's a right wrong 'un. Breaking in to her place while she's out to burp the worm in her bath and stuff.
Dull.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1334102/
4.4/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 The Killing Of Jacob Marr (2010)

Some evil space-egg makes some kid kill his family, then, twenty years later, some other people.

Again, can't actually remember too much about it. Don't matter though as I doubt many of you will want to watch the shit we sit through. I should go outdoors more often. Look at the trees and the sky rather than the idiot box. Plenty of time to watch films when I'm too old to move, rather than being too lazy to bother.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1591505/

Somewhere between 1-10/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Marauders (2016)

Some bank robbers keep robbing banks belonging to Bruce Willis although he might be organising it himself or some such. Not sure, can't remember.

As with almost everything he's been in, Christopher Meloni is far better than the film surrounding him.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3963816/

5.5/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Cardinal Matter (2016)

A chap returns home after going AWOL from the army and, in need of money, agrees to work for his cousin's small-time criminal team.

Recently they stole some vials of some kinda magic science potion that essentially turns people into a fleshy Terminator. Wounds instantly heal and that sorta stuff. Anyway, the shady boffins who invented this unlikely potion have decided they want it back and they should murderkill all the thieves.

A bit like that shit Bourne film, the one with the rumpled-face fella who isn't Matt Damon, but in many ways better as that film was bumwash compared to the other three. Haven't seen the new Bourne film yet, but I really hope it isn't shite.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3634908/

7.2/10

Perkin.