Film Plop

--/07/16/ River (2015)

A young doctor on holiday intervenes in the sexual assault of a young woman by giving the chap responsible a hearty thrashing. Jolly good.

Unfortunately the next day it turns out he might have beaten the fellow to death. Not wanting to spend the rest of his life in prison he decides to leg it.

You've probably seen numerous films where the plot sounds very similar to that, unlike most of them this one is set in a recognisable world where people who find themselves out of their depth are confused and struggling against the panic that threatens to render them useless. There's no heroics, grand speeches, explosions or car chases so common to other 'on the run' films. This one is just about a normal guy who's act of decency has backfired in a terrible way and left him in a fucked situation with minimal exits.

Also, Rossif Sutherland, who plays the doctor is 6ft 5" tall. We decided that really tall people look funny when they're running.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4215810/

8.7/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 One Missed Call (2008)

Fuck me, I wish this dogshit was one missed film instead.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479968/
2/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Keanu (2016)

Two men rescue a dog from bad guys in a comedy that forgot to put in the jokes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4139124/

2/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Latest Fucking X-Men Film (2015)

A guy wakes up all grumpy after a big nap and decides to kill the world after watching the TV and realising the entire planet has turned into some kinda Centre Parcs for cunts. Know how he feels.

Micky F. Assbender does his serious face and the little Scottish one inherits his slap-top. Oscar Isaac acts like a big blue twat. Quicksilver's rescue scene is a stand out moment, hugely entertaining in a film that's otherwise 2.5 hours of arseache. The Wolverine cameo is a big stack of bumholes.

Enough of that shit, let's have some music instead. Listen to this. The greatest band you've probably never heard of. If you disagree, fuck off.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3385516/

4/10

Perkin.

--/07/16 Night Of The Living Deb (2015)

Blah blah blah, zombie comedy that isn't as funny as the game performances and zippy pace suggest. Alright I 'spose.

Just Seen that Maria Thayer, the woman who plays the Deb of the title is nearly the same age as me. She's certainly doing something right. Looks 15 years younger than she is, if not more.

Then again, she probably doesn't consider Monster Munch and whisky for dinner and five hours sleep a night as part of her routine.

imdb.com/title/tt3602128/

5.8/10