04/17 Rings (2017)

.Utterly pointless sequel to the mongingly (new word!) shite remake of the Japanese spookflick.

1/10

04/17 The Dark Tapes (2017)

.A fairly decent horror anthology effort.

Want more? Look it up on websites than can be bothered.

6.75/10

Perkin.

Look, they're all 'Perkin' unless stated otherwise. It don't make a bollock either way who claims authorship of this fucking nonsense. 

04/17 Stone Cold (Rifftrax) (1991)

.A film that does most of the heavy lifting for you if your job is taking the piss out of shit films.

Bosworth/10

04/17 Sleepless (2017)

.Not yet officially released, but leaked onto the usual streaming sites by internet scamps.

Anyway, it's a shit remake of a very good French film. Watch the original instead:

http://filmplop.blogspot.fr/2015/02/080215-sleepless-night-2011.html

4/10

04/17 Slasher.com (2017)

A film with no slashers or websites. Surprising, given the title.

Well, a bit of slashing.

It was shit but fun enough.

5.75/10

04/17 No Retreat, No Surrender (Rifftrax) (1986)

Rifftrax are three fellas who talk over a film, taking the piss out of it. Glad I started with this one as it's probably their funniest effort.

The film itself is much, much more terrible, and unintentionally funny, than I remember it being. In fairness though, I was prob in my early teens some thirty-odd years ago when I last saw this.

04/17 Savages (2012)

.Some drug selling young folk fall out with a Mexican cartel. Of particular note are the twin assassins played by Danny Trejo and Charles Hawtree.

I'm bored of writing this. 

5.98/10