Wednesday, 23 October 2019
01/09/19 Erial (2016)
Spanish zombie nonsense about a smallholder (who's main crop appears to be, I dunno, dusty bits of fence and shit?) who wakes up and blah, blah, blah zombies/strange science and all that.
Apparently filmed in five days without a script.
Which, I'm gonna guess, included one of those famous Spanish four day lunch-breaks.
That's not to say it's completely charmless though, and the central character can act.
Apparently filmed in five days without a script.
Which, I'm gonna guess, included one of those famous Spanish four day lunch-breaks.
That's not to say it's completely charmless though, and the central character can act.
30/08/19 Dark Phoenix (2019)
What should've just been 90 minutes of the Hank McCoy/Beast character being all polite and brainy/acrobatically ripping the faces off goons, was instead a dreary 1hr50m of mostly boring twaddle which offer an even more tepid version of a previous X-film's plot.
Supposedly the last of the X Men films, yet I see there's one called X-Force currently in production, so, like Brexit, British Winters, my sense of workplace misery and any journey on public transport, this series appears never to end.
Even though it should have a long time ago.
Meh.
Supposedly the last of the X Men films, yet I see there's one called X-Force currently in production, so, like Brexit, British Winters, my sense of workplace misery and any journey on public transport, this series appears never to end.
Even though it should have a long time ago.
Meh.
30/08/19 The Witch In The Window (2018)
Haunted house film that's a little more original than most and better than many.
26/08/19 The Night Sitter (2018)
Cheapy horror effort that does its best with the limitations it has.
26/08/19 3-Headed Shark Attack (2015)
A direct sequel to the film below, touching on many of the same issues.
I didn't watch this, Podd did.
I didn't watch this, Podd did.
25/08/19 Gwen (2018)
Film about a 19th century widowed Welsh farmer and her daughters who are barely managing to exist, let alone prosper, on their small piece of land in an isolated part of the country.
The film is almost amusingly bleak, not a single good thing happens to anyone at any point during the film. The location of the farm seems to be in an area suffering from an almost supernaturally oppressive permawinter where everything dies and everything's shit.
The last person to smile was probably stoned to death for not enduring the biblical misery with the required solemnity.
After watching it, you feel like you could join in.
It is beautifully shot and very well acted though, and the perfect film if you think happiness is an overrated state and should be avoided at all costs.
The film is almost amusingly bleak, not a single good thing happens to anyone at any point during the film. The location of the farm seems to be in an area suffering from an almost supernaturally oppressive permawinter where everything dies and everything's shit.
The last person to smile was probably stoned to death for not enduring the biblical misery with the required solemnity.
After watching it, you feel like you could join in.
It is beautifully shot and very well acted though, and the perfect film if you think happiness is an overrated state and should be avoided at all costs.
This is the happiest anyone looks at any point in this film. She's positively giddy.
"Not much planned for today. I'll probably just sit on this rock until I die."
"Fuck it. Went clubbing instead. This place is proper banging!"
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