05/07/13 Evil Dead (2013)

The original Evil Dead deserves its reputation as a horror classic. It succeeds where most horrors fail by actually being scary. One of the other things that works so well is the build-up, you know something is very wrong, but it's only during the card playing scene that things go completely hat stand and stays bonkers until the film ends.

Anyway, a remake was predictable; blah, blah, blah, pre-established brand awareness, weak script, profit.

After an introductory scene that completely gives away what the film's going to be like and massages the idiot valves of the (presumed) attention span deficient audience, a group of blandly cinegenic twenty-somethings go to a cabin in the woods to group-hug the world's healthiest looking heroin addict while she kicks the habit.

They find some dead cats and book of evil in the basement, one of 'em gets some twigs up her arse and the film spends 60 minutes doing a piss-poor cover version of the original.

It's tepid, boring, badly acted ol' wank and really not worth bothering with. Fucking shite for idiots.

It gets an extra point for some impressive practical effects.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/
2/10

Terrifying/tedious, I always get those two mixed up.

Perkin.