19/12/13 Island of Death (1976)

History's worst actors pretend to be a pair of muderous, incestuous siblings with entirely different accents. They go on holiday to a small Greek island and murder most of the people who live there. Well, they unconvincingly shag them first.

Embarrassing terribleness but definitely the film for you if you've ever wanted to watch a 58yr old woman become aroused as she gets pissed on by a man with circular hair.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0188527/
1/10

*Man looks at Phil Collins*

*Phil Collins looks at woman*

*Woman observes curtain*

"Don't be scared, darling. It's only a door."

"But.. But it's blue! It's happening again!!!" *Sobs*

"I love lager, footy and a fight."

"Are you sure?"

"Actually, no."

"They must be up there. Keep searching. I can't start this without the keys"

"My only hope is that this isn't embarrassing in 37 years time"

"No chance!"

'Lovejoy: After Dark' surprised viewers with its blend of graphic murder, antiques and bumrape.

...And film.

Perkin.