A young American lady
comes to England to take a child minding job whilst the parents are on holiday.
Rather than looking
after some terrible little wanker in a new-build housing estate, it's in a
large, isolated house in the sticks called, like, Ominous Towers, or
Loomingdread Hall or somesuch.
Anyway, turns out
that the family's a bit odd. The parents appear to be in their early seventies and
oddly secretive, and their son, Brahms, is a weird little fellow. He
doesn't move much, stares a lot, dresses strangely and is a medium sized wooden
doll.
I nearly wrote chod
minding job in that first paragraph. Can you imagine that, being paid to look
after someone's bum biscuits? Anyway.
So the parents go on
holiday and the baby sitter thinks she's landed the world's cushtiest gig,
having a big house to herself, and pretending to take care of the world's
gayest looking action figure. The chap from the local village who delivers
essentials -apparently every half an hour. They sure get through a lot of stuff
in that house- quickly becomes a chum and potential love interest, and all
seems well for the first evening.
However, things start
going a bit funny and Brahms appears to be a little more animate than his
non-fleshy status would suggest, at first he's yer standard creepy doll type
thing, then apparently begins developing a bit of a crush on his temporary
carer. Well, she is a good looking lady.
For a large part of
the film I struggled to watch it seriously as every time the childminder was in
her undies or taking a shower, I expected the camera to pan round and see
Brahms *ahem* polishing his woodpecker, or a least a shot of a keyhole with a
faint rapid *knock knock knock knock* noise coming from the other side.
"Brahms, what
are these little piles of sawdust in my shoes?"
Yes, I am in my '40s
and amuse myself with the thought of small, pervert mannequins.
Predictably enough,
with all films involving creepy houses and possessed dolls, it all goes a bit
wonky as Brahms may not be as harmless and playful as thought.
Most reviews of this
have said that the story is derivative but performed well, I can go along with
that, and I enjoyed its old fashioned spookiness.
It must also be said
that I've seen thousands (by now literally so) of horror films and one scene in
this, the 'mirror emergence', actually did give me the creeps. Not "Ooh,
that's a bit odd" but the full-on "Fucking hell! What the shitting
balls is this?!"
So for that alone,
I'm gonna say job well done.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3882082/
7.25/10
Perkin.
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