03/17 The Stakelander (2016)

The first one, Stakeland, is very good, this one not so much. Not terrible or anything, just doesn't have the bleak, washed out sense of hopelessness that the first did.

Blimey, films are a funny thing. You couldn't ever use 'bleak, washed out sense of hopelessness' as a positive in a review many other things:

A restaurant. 'The moribund potatoes were a delight'

A creche. 'The sense of forlorn loss on the faces of the children present was greatly entertaining'

A massage parlour. 'Concluding with a very unhappy ending. Five stars'

A holiday camp. 'Vorhees was nothing if not attentive, ensuring that each attendee was run through with the machete at least once per day'

5.74/10