Tuesday, 31 October 2017

War For The Planet Of The Apes (2017)


Ceasar, Plip-Plop, Kenneth, Doorbell and Woowoo (can't remember all their monkey names, prob something like that) are back for the final bit about when they fucked off away from the last humans and built Monkeyworld.

It's alright, but like all films when another species go up against the humans, there wasn't nearly enough of the humans getting torn a new arsehole.

Far too peaceful. I'd love, as I've said before on here, just once to see a film where us humans encounter a more capable foe and get fucking destroyed.
No third act where the pluck, bravery and ingenuity saves us from defeat. None of that cockwash where Will Smith pilots a craft onto the mothership or Jaquin Phoenix whacks the piss out of some creature with a baseball bat, just complete annihilation.
 As would happen.
I know I'm comparing angry apes with aliens, but fucking hell, have you seen a Silverback in real life? Just one of them could twat an entire pub full of wankers.



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