18/01/14 Slaughter Of The Innocents (1993)

A FBI chap who investigates serial killers decides that it's a great idea to take his 11yr old son along to the scenes of fresh murders.
The kid's some sort of spacky mega-brain who's enjoying his early years staring at crime sights and slaughter photos before inevitably turning into a thoroughly disturbed adult who doesn't let the very rare visitors to his bedsit look inside his 'special box' kept in the fridge. Possibly.
Anyway, the film's bumlar toss and child actors annoy us.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111216/
3.5/10

Fleshpipe & Sons are pleased to offer this unique character property. In need of slight renovation, it benefits from a south facing lunacy, off-kilter parking and a shared dimensional portal. No onward momentum.

I miss The Crystal Maze.

Amstrad's exciting new home computing product for 2014.

Edward Owl Hands. 

At night, Gary liked to relax with his favourite book...

...Which was full of bondage infants.

This guy's briefly in this film for seemingly no reason. An odd fellow.

Perkin.

29/04/13 Maniac (2012)

Elijah Wood, angry little fellow with a knife. Cuts ladies hair without asking first. Chums with an unconvincing French hipster. The POV stuff is gimmicky. Film boring. Shit ending.

Shit for the whole thing, actually.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2103217/
2/10

Perkin.

23/04/13 Would You Rather (2012)

Completely cheerless, but good, film about a woman with a poorly sibling who gets invited to dinner at a rich fellow's house.

He's also invited some other people, offering them the chance to win money if they play his twisted variation on a party game. Most of them die, then there's a rubbish twist and it ends.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1999995/
8/10

Perkin.

16/03/2013 The Tourist Trap (1979)

Seems the "group of students/young people are nabbed by a weirdo in a remote area" genre has been going for longer than you realise.  In a completely Scooby Doo plot, the proprietor of a disused museum has the power to control his collection of creepy mannequins and enjoys some murdering on the side.

Would have been genuinely scary to see this as a kid but as an adult it was mostly meh, with the trapped people often behaving in unrealistic/exceptionally stupid ways.  Mr Rum Bugger also seems to have the power of teleportation as well as telekinesis.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080040/?ref_=sr_1

4/10

"The pain is excruciation"

Bolan immediately regretted agreeing to the comeback tour 

This isn't from the film, we really have Tanya Roberts tied up in our basement

Aside from the interest in murder and kidnap, clearly some other issues need addressing

Happy hour, Croydon Wetherspoons

Podd

11/03/2013 Comedown (2012)

Film about rum goings on in an abandoned tower block.  It starts ok but quickly becomes tedious. The "heroes" are dislikeable and the villain improbable. Meh.

4/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1376168/?ref_=sr_1

Podd

30/01/2013 The Collection (2012)

The first film was actually a fairly decent effort.  The sequel sees the evil killer get his own place and upgrade his evil doing to an abandoned hotel (which has electricity and potentially a maid still nipping in).  There are some genuine "brrr" moments of cringey gore but also some ludicrous moments of a conveniently forgotten broken arm and scientific inaccuracies.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1748227/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

5/10

 Podd

26/01/13 Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

Awards ceremony fuzz-bumper, Jodie Foster plays Clarice Sensibleshoe who's using Hamtony Hamkins to help track down a skin-tranny moth enthusiast called Bill.

Enjoyable enough, but not a touch on Manhunter, Brian Cox's Lector is where it begins, peaks and finishes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102926/?ref_=sr_1
5/10

Perkin.

20/01/13 Fire With Fire (2012)

Fireman sees crime. Gets threatened. Revenge! Eventually ends.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1925431/
2/10

Gok Wan. Unconvincing bad guy.

Willis. Taking a shit.

"Awful GCI? ...Run!!!"

Perkin.