http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1010271/
4.8/10
Perkin.
Friday, 9 November 2012
09/11/12 The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
Some plod find a house where a serial killer's left behind a bumload of video tapes of him mudering assorted actors. Everyone has a nice cup of tea, watches the tapes and then it ends. Bing! All done.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1010271/
4.8/10
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1010271/
4.8/10
08/11/12 Citadel (2012)
The three most horrifying, bowel-icing words in the English language?
Terminal bum plague?
Nope.
Ben Stiller film?
Nope.
Fritzl basement party?
Nah.
Four minute warning?
No.
It is, of course:
Scottish council estate.
This utterly cheerless film is set on one and is sadly not anything to do with the mid-80s computer game Citadel I enjoyed as a young 'un. You're meant to have sympathy with the main guy because his wife's all monged-up in a coma and he's got a baby that some teenagers appear to wanna snatch and a priest was rude to him and stuff. We just wanted to give him a good slap.
I think there's some message about conquering your inner demons or some shit in the film, but it might equally have been something about pottery, such was my disinterest by the end.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1641975/
2.5/10
Might have been an Irish council estate. Dunno.
Terminal bum plague?
Nope.
Ben Stiller film?
Nope.
Fritzl basement party?
Nah.
Four minute warning?
No.
It is, of course:
Scottish council estate.
This utterly cheerless film is set on one and is sadly not anything to do with the mid-80s computer game Citadel I enjoyed as a young 'un. You're meant to have sympathy with the main guy because his wife's all monged-up in a coma and he's got a baby that some teenagers appear to wanna snatch and a priest was rude to him and stuff. We just wanted to give him a good slap.
I think there's some message about conquering your inner demons or some shit in the film, but it might equally have been something about pottery, such was my disinterest by the end.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1641975/
2.5/10
Might have been an Irish council estate. Dunno.
Poster for the film.
Sadly not the film.
Perkin.
Sunday, 4 November 2012
04/11/2012 Coma (2012)
Mini series remake of a 1970s film so it counts as a film. Starts off reasonably promisingly but goes down hill and the constant background/"tension" music soon becomes distracting and annoying. The end is predictable and lots of plot events are infeasible (for example, storing the anaesthetic tanks several floors away from the operating theatre linked by miles of pipe). Meh.
3/10
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2132641/
3/10
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2132641/
Podd
03/11/12 Skyfall (2012)
James Bond still drives the same Aston Martin DB5 that he did fifty years ago, which means that all the films are set in the same world. That makes him about 90yrs old. Daniel Craig looks a good twenty years too young to pull it off.
No wonder this film goes to great lengths to point out that Bond's getting on a bit.
Xavier Bardem plays plays the baddie, Evilmonto Von Shirtlift. He has terrible hair, an uncertain accent and a face that looks like recently set insulation foam. He also enjoys using Peter Griffin's thinking grenades.
Far too long at 2hrs20mins, but some of the action scenes were excellent and it's the first bond film I've enjoyed in a long time. Also the first one I've seen in a cinema for 29 years.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1074638/
6.5/10
No wonder this film goes to great lengths to point out that Bond's getting on a bit.
Xavier Bardem plays plays the baddie, Evilmonto Von Shirtlift. He has terrible hair, an uncertain accent and a face that looks like recently set insulation foam. He also enjoys using Peter Griffin's thinking grenades.
Far too long at 2hrs20mins, but some of the action scenes were excellent and it's the first bond film I've enjoyed in a long time. Also the first one I've seen in a cinema for 29 years.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1074638/
6.5/10
Perkin.
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
31/10/12 Rites Of Spring (2012)
Boinggg!!!
Spring.
LOL etc.
Anyway, horror film (Halloween, innit) that starts off with two separate threads, one about a kidnap/ransom and one about some women tied up in a barn. The two converge and stuffly stuffs happens all over the place.
There's also an old guy with a knife and some lumpy fella who lives in his basement. A pretty good effort for a low budget film but nothing outstanding or greatly original.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1227789/
6/10
Spring.
LOL etc.
Anyway, horror film (Halloween, innit) that starts off with two separate threads, one about a kidnap/ransom and one about some women tied up in a barn. The two converge and stuffly stuffs happens all over the place.
There's also an old guy with a knife and some lumpy fella who lives in his basement. A pretty good effort for a low budget film but nothing outstanding or greatly original.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1227789/
6/10
Perkin.
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
28/10/12 Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Last saw this about 25 years ago when Halloween fell on a Saturday and one of the four available British TV channels decided to put on the least popular film of the Halloween franchise.
Four TV channels, eh? Those were the days.
Also, back then, there wasn't a sell-through film market, if you wanted to own your favourite flick on VHS, you had to buy a full price rental cassette, they were £70 a pop! That's (roughly) the equivalent of £300 in modern money. A mate of mine bought Four Weddings And A Funeral for a girl he really liked for £75, 18 years ago. She dumped him. He probably could've bought a house or something for that sorta money. Or an entire town up north. Also, any woman who's into fucking rubbish like that... Meh. An admirably grand gesture considering our incomes back then though.
These days people just instantly stream films onto their iTube Facebox and pay pennies for it. No fucking effort required for proper film fans any more.
I've got a subscription to the excellent Canadian horror film magazine, Rue Morgue. Highly recommended for anyone into that sort of stuff. In the last edition, they had an interview with the director of Halloween 3, praising it up as some kinda, obscure, forgotten, counter-culture gem of the genre, so when I saw it was on TV last night, I thought 'Result! Haven't seen it for many years, must be worth a go. Can't be the terrible old shit I seem to remember about a bunch of evil rubber masks and some old tit who wants to kill the world using the power of a Stonehenge brick. Or can it?'
Yes.
It also has some right ol' hairdos and no Michael Myers. Don't get me wrong, with the exception of the first film, I'm not much of a Halloween fan, and even the first is enjoyable rather than brilliant but having a film called Halloween 3, and not involving anything to do with 1 or 2 is definitely dropping a bit of a bollock.
Myers is shit though. Frustrated fuckin' mask wearing odd 'un. Just needs a Pot Noodle and a wank, none of this stabby shit. Twat.
Anyway, he's not in this one, he had a year off*, this one's just the above mentioned masks and shit. It's total penis.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085636/
3/10
Four TV channels, eh? Those were the days.
Also, back then, there wasn't a sell-through film market, if you wanted to own your favourite flick on VHS, you had to buy a full price rental cassette, they were £70 a pop! That's (roughly) the equivalent of £300 in modern money. A mate of mine bought Four Weddings And A Funeral for a girl he really liked for £75, 18 years ago. She dumped him. He probably could've bought a house or something for that sorta money. Or an entire town up north. Also, any woman who's into fucking rubbish like that... Meh. An admirably grand gesture considering our incomes back then though.
These days people just instantly stream films onto their iTube Facebox and pay pennies for it. No fucking effort required for proper film fans any more.
I've got a subscription to the excellent Canadian horror film magazine, Rue Morgue. Highly recommended for anyone into that sort of stuff. In the last edition, they had an interview with the director of Halloween 3, praising it up as some kinda, obscure, forgotten, counter-culture gem of the genre, so when I saw it was on TV last night, I thought 'Result! Haven't seen it for many years, must be worth a go. Can't be the terrible old shit I seem to remember about a bunch of evil rubber masks and some old tit who wants to kill the world using the power of a Stonehenge brick. Or can it?'
Yes.
It also has some right ol' hairdos and no Michael Myers. Don't get me wrong, with the exception of the first film, I'm not much of a Halloween fan, and even the first is enjoyable rather than brilliant but having a film called Halloween 3, and not involving anything to do with 1 or 2 is definitely dropping a bit of a bollock.
Myers is shit though. Frustrated fuckin' mask wearing odd 'un. Just needs a Pot Noodle and a wank, none of this stabby shit. Twat.
Anyway, he's not in this one, he had a year off*, this one's just the above mentioned masks and shit. It's total penis.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085636/
3/10
Perkin.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
28/10/12 The Angels' Share (2012)
Excellent film about some people in Scotland who still have teeth and some expensive whisky.
Highly recommended!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1924394/
9/10
Highly recommended!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1924394/
9/10
Perkin.
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