09/12/12 The Fear (2012)

Another miniseries that I'm gonna include for the usual reasons.

Peter Mullan plays Eddie Scottish who years ago apparently 'took over' Brighton, in the gangster sense. Which apparently involves buying some houses and a hotel. A bit like Monopoly. In recent times his memory's starting going a bit bollock-shaped and he's eventually diagnosed with a dose of mind-spazz.

Personally I think he was just disappointed in having such a pair of cunts for sons.

There's a falling out with some lazily clichéd East European tracksuit-crims and a few people get dead/mouthraped.

Pretty meh, but Mullan was excellent, the best he's been since the tragically unknown Session 9. Watch that instead.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2316238/
4.5/10

Hello.

I find your breasts hilarious!

Director: "Everyone look at something slightly different."

"Fuck off, Withnail. You mincing, luvvie ponce."

Perkin.

08/12/12 The Secret Of Crickley Hall (2012)

BBC miniseries that we can include as it was film length and we watched it in our own time.


Old-looking young woman falls asleep and her kid disappears. A year later, her and her husband/remaining children move into a creaky studio set with a well in the basement and shizzle.

Lots of old people and a woman who looks like Steve Coogan turn up and offer opinions about ghosts and stuff. Turns out the kid's dead. Ends.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2294227/
4/10

That's The Hall. The secret is there's ghosts.

Perkin.

07/12/12 Last Man Standing (1996)

Silly old tits set in the prohibition era US where Bruce Forsythe* plays Gunny McShootybang, a man who literally fires five bullets for every word he says.

Good soundtrack but mostly rubbish film.

4.8/10
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116830/

Perkin.

*Willis, whatever.

05/12/12 Hell Comes To Frogtown (1988)

I first saw this as a teenager in the '80s, I thought it was bloody great.

Watched it late last night, it's bloody great!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093171/
7.5/10

Perkin.

04/12/12 The Thing (1982)

Flippin' masterpiece.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/
10/10

A fine remake.

Perkin.

04/12/12 Storm Warning (2007)

A film about two people kidnapped by the standard family of murderous, rapey rednecks.

A bit better than most films of this type and much more Australian.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800367/
5.5/10

Perkin.

02/12/12 Premium Rush (2012)

Second-rate bollocks.

Biketwat takes 90 minutes to deliver a letter.

New York looks like a wanker theme park.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1547234/
2/10

Perkin.