The Night Eats The World (2018)

Man wakes up in a Paris flat to find that everyone's turned into zombies. Sacre bleu! Baguette! Unreliable Citroen! Wine!

Half decent, if I recall.

"Pierre, can you rip off another film's poster and change it a bit for ours? Make sure people realise it's set in Paris."

"Oui."

Halloween (2018)

This film makes the wise decision to ignore every dismal sequel that was shat out after Halloween 2.

Sadly it's still a mediocre effort that wastes its fun potential.

5/10

The Last Days (2013)

Spanish film where a mysterious epidemic starts killing anyone who goes outside.

Pretty much my dream scenario "Oh no! I can't go to work, so I'll have to spend a few years on the Playstation in my dressing gown eating Fray Bentos pies. Boo hoo."

Also means I wouldn't have to spend any time interacting with the terrible morons who make up (what often appears to be) the majority of people in this country.

Anyway, aside from some holes in the logic, the film's pretty good.

From their bedroom window, the Whisker brothers tried to pick out the most phallic building.

Man Vs. (2015)

Not the show where the chunky fella eats an entire deep-fried cow whilst gormless cretins clap him.

I bet his plumber's on speed dial.

"Hello, Tim, It's Adam."

"Oh fu... Hello, Adam. Is it the usual problem?"

"Yeah, I ate fifteen kilos of  pork banjos at Sisterwife's Bucktoothed Diner yesterday. It's like someone's filled the U-bend with a gallon of chocolate concrete."

"I'll bring the depth charges, they might shake it loose."

"Cheers, gotta go, I ate twelve bowls of buttered fish knuckles in nine minutes this morning. Gotta go and add to the pile-up"

Anyway, this film's about some wannabe Bear Grylls* who gets stalked by something whilst filming his survival show. Pretty good fun for a low budget effort.

*But less of an annoying, posh-faced wankpole.

Brothers' Nest (2018)

Excellent Aussie film about two brothers plotting to murder their way into an inheritance.

Probably not a big spoiler to say things don't go quite as planned.

Well worth seeing.

Gremlins (1984)

I didn't watch this, Podd did.

Seen it before though, a number of times. Always troubled me about the 'don't feed them after midnight' thing. It's always after midnight, depending on when you're measuring from. What about time zones? Surely 'Don't feed them between midnight and 8am, local time' or something similar would be better Mogwailian husbandry advice?

211 (2018)

Story about a bunch of mercenaries (who probably all have cool action film names like Troy Rockfire, Max Gauntlet, Dynamo Clifton and Kenneth Wendell) who decide to rob a bank because someone didn't pay them for a previous job or something.

Based on a far more interesting real-life heist, this manages to make lots of gunfights and explosions a bit dull.

Wigolas Cage teaches us that shooting people makes you a more attentive father.

5/10

"Alright, Nic, keep your hair on! With glue."