1/10
Wednesday, 18 September 2019
06/06/19 The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)
A kid-friendly version of the King Arthur story set in modern times. I'm not really the intended audience, but it's a good family film and even I enjoyed it enough to make it to the end.
06/06/19 Captive State (2019)
Science-fiction flick set a decade after our alien overlords have turned Earth into their bitch-planet and are using us for food or something similar.
Anyway, it's slow moving, well acted and thoughtful rather than the usual Independence Day shit.
Cheers.
Anyway, it's slow moving, well acted and thoughtful rather than the usual Independence Day shit.
Cheers.
A Violent Separation (2019)
Half-decent small town crime/cover-up type thing.
Not much to add, really.
Not much to add, really.
28/05/19 The Poison Rose (2019)
Forgettable noir mystery full of people who can do, and should know, better.
26/05/19 From Beyond (1986)
You're probably reading the wrong blog if you don't already know of this film.
However, that's working on the assumption that anyone IS reading this old piss, which is doubtful. Anyway, if you are, and you're uncertain if you know this one, it's the horror film where people grow dicks out of their heads.
However, that's working on the assumption that anyone IS reading this old piss, which is doubtful. Anyway, if you are, and you're uncertain if you know this one, it's the horror film where people grow dicks out of their heads.
"Are you sitting down?"
"Nah, just fucking short."
"That's a shame. Still, I'm a lengthologist, I might be able to help"
"Really? Make me taller?"
"Yes, I've invented a bright green wizards hat which has the possibility of making you normal sized."
"I'll do it!"
"Hang on, half-pint! There's great risks involved. You have to be sure."
"I'm ready. It's worth the danger."
The National Lottery's attempt at sexing up the weekly draw was a dismal misfire.
"Yeah, I tried the green wizard hat. Gave me a splitting headache."
*Baddum*
26/05/19 Greta (2018)
An older lady befriends a much younger woman. At first all seems well, then it turns out the older woman might be a murderous loony.
The moral of the story? Never trust anyone you meet, less so if they seem gentle and kind.
In fact, the next time you meet someone who seems like a decent, well adjusted human, just point at them, repeatedly shouting "PROBABLE MURDERER OR BABY FIDDLER!" as loudly as you can until the police arrive and arrest them*.
The moral of the story? Never trust anyone you meet, less so if they seem gentle and kind.
In fact, the next time you meet someone who seems like a decent, well adjusted human, just point at them, repeatedly shouting "PROBABLE MURDERER OR BABY FIDDLER!" as loudly as you can until the police arrive and arrest them*.
*You.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)