04/08/13 Welcome To The Punch (2013)

A copperplod gets shot in the knee during a heist/aftershave commercial. He gets all, like, "Waaaah! I'm all pissy and wan't to shoot him back 'cos now my knee's all rubbish and puffy! And I can't run properly apart from in scenes when I forget about it."

The writer/director of this plump testicle previously made the convincing film Shifty. This, though, is flippin' proper floppy excrement. So flawed that it's like watching a parody that forgot to include the jokes. It also suffers from terrible miscasting and performances from people who should know better and deserve an early night with no pudding.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1684233/
2/10

"Oh... Oh dear."

"It's cold, love. Give me a minute."

Tim loved nothing more than to polish his trousers whilst firemen held hands.

"Dave, put your glasses on, you blind twat. That's the coat rack, I'm over here."

The twist reveal that 'Mr Big' is actually Doris McNan was a suprise.

Perkin.