09/10/14 The Salvation 2014

A bloke hasn't seen his wife or son for seven years. He misses them dreadfully. They eventually make it over to the new world. He picks them up from the train station, during the cab ride back to his house the wife and son get raped and murdered. Not the best of reunions, all things considered.

During the rest of the film the dad kills people as he's understandably a bit grumpy.


 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2720680/
7.5/10

Perkin.

03/08/14 Sweetwater (2013)

Humourless but good looking and well acted western.

Jason Issacs plays Ol' Bonkers McPhee (or something) a wealthy, land owning preacher who hides a darker side. This is made clear at the start of the film when he stabs someone to death with a massive knife whilst babbling on about The Bible or somesuch.

He also kills the lovely humble farmer chap who lives next door so Mrs Humblechap solves everything with guns.

It is kinda cool to see a woman take the wronged/revenge role that's normally exclusively male, and do a good job of it.

Yeah, if you like westerns, this is definitely one of the better recent ones.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2224004/

7.5/10

Perkin.

02/06/13 The Quick And The Dead (1995)

If viewed as a traditional western with the usual themes of revenge, redemption and lawlessness, it's pile of shit.

However, if viewed as a cartoonish pastiche of gunslinger flicks, with pop video visuals and ADD editing, it's still a pile of shit.

However, quality issues aside, the biggest worry is the impression that Leonardo Di Caprio and Sharon Stone do of each other in the film. The resemblance is very strong, which could result in a potentially embarrassing trouser alarm.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114214/
3.5/10

Leonardo Di Stone

Sharon Caprio

"Mr Blumenthal says mix with tomatoes and olives and pan fry for twenty minutes"

Old time diseases include: Consumption, Dropsy, Rickets and Head-Gap

Relaxing between takes with a quick litre of gin.

An Elephant on water skis. Obviously.

Perkin.

25/06/12 Open Range (2003)

Robert Duvall and Kevin Costner deliver stiff dialogue with faces so straight they could be used as spirit levels.

Anyway, they play two fellas who have some cows, and they get in trouble 'cos the cows don't live on a farm. They bimble around for 700 hours, or thereabouts, then have a gun fight that lots of idiots on the internet think is amazing, some shit about Costner falling in love, then it ends.

5/10
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0316356/

Perkin.