01/04/15 Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

Surprisingly dull given the title. Made by Italians. If you want intelligent, thoughty words about Italian films from that era, as well as stuff from all kinds of other places and times, read the excellent blog Pickled Cinema:

http://pickledcinema.blogspot.co.uk/

Me, however, I think almost every Italian film is vespa flavoured pasta toilet. However, they can be very entertaining, often in ways that weren't intended.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080379/

4/10

The 2015 Spring/Summer collection is going to be dominated by pale shades. whites and blues, accessorizing with dashes of flame.

"Your coat looks like a twat."

"Fuck off, you old bellamy!"

That actually looks like the sofa I'm currently typing this bilge on. I don't look like Steven Spielberg wearing his mum's shoes though.

This is actually from a different film: "Office Manager 2: Stapler of Justice"

"You seen my favourite Robin Askwith poster anywhere?"

The glasses scream "sex offender!", whereas the hair and 'tache say "Also a sex offender"

A six wheeled, thirty foot ambulance? The fuck is that for? Giraffe emergencies?

Perkin.

08/03/15 A Lonely Place To Die (2011)

Seen this before, enjoyable enough nonsense. We were interested in was a statement in the film, someone says that if any member of the team falls from the peak of the mountain they're climbing, it will take a full 30 seconds to hit the ground.

That's enough time, if true, to send a text message of goodbye/SOS. I timed myself and easily managed to tap out "Have fallen over badly. Send ambulance. Ta." therefore convincing me that it might actually be safer to fall from a really big mountain than a small one/stepladder.
Also thirty seconds is easily enough time to fit in a few pints, making your descent more pleasurable. Maybe just the one if you're a bit of a nancy.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1422136/
7/10

Perkin.