01/04/15 Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

Surprisingly dull given the title. Made by Italians. If you want intelligent, thoughty words about Italian films from that era, as well as stuff from all kinds of other places and times, read the excellent blog Pickled Cinema:

http://pickledcinema.blogspot.co.uk/

Me, however, I think almost every Italian film is vespa flavoured pasta toilet. However, they can be very entertaining, often in ways that weren't intended.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080379/

4/10

The 2015 Spring/Summer collection is going to be dominated by pale shades. whites and blues, accessorizing with dashes of flame.

"Your coat looks like a twat."

"Fuck off, you old bellamy!"

That actually looks like the sofa I'm currently typing this bilge on. I don't look like Steven Spielberg wearing his mum's shoes though.

This is actually from a different film: "Office Manager 2: Stapler of Justice"

"You seen my favourite Robin Askwith poster anywhere?"

The glasses scream "sex offender!", whereas the hair and 'tache say "Also a sex offender"

A six wheeled, thirty foot ambulance? The fuck is that for? Giraffe emergencies?

Perkin.

02/02/14 Slaughter (1972)

Another blaxploitation film \o/

The chap from the excellent/enraging http://youparklikeacunt.com/ recently recommend the film Savage, I thought I had it. Turned out it was this one. Still, this was entertaining enough.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069279/
6.5/10

"Sir, your cab has arrived. Oh, sorry, I dialled the wrong number. They've sent a giraffe."

Bet he's a right one for the ladies.

Tuesday is shoulders day. Four sets of ten reps on the Goon Press.

"It works! My stooge cloning pod works!!!"

"I gave him helium for lunch! Grab his ankle before he floats away!"

"Samaritans? It's about my hair..."

Perkin.