06/09/13 The Look Of Love (2013)

Apparently now-dead smut-baron Paul Raymond used to do an excellent impression of Alan Partridge when he wasn't snorting a bumload of cocaine and doing sex with women in pubic wigs.

Blah, blah, blah, money can't buy you happiness and if Raymond and Donald Trump are anything to go by, it gives you shit hair as well.

Considering the film's about sex, drugs and money, it's pretty boring.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951216/
5/10

Perkin.

13/11/12 The Watch (2012)

Living somewhere in the rest of the world means having anti-American sentiment is almost compulsory.

I could be all grown up and say don't judge the many by the acts of the few, but I can't be bollocksed to be mature this evening. Besides, look at the balloon-faced cunt running this country at the moment, we're in no place to judge.

However, if I can give America two quick bits of advice, it's these:

1. You've got it round the wrong way. sex is good, guns are bad. Jesus would agree.

2. Stop making films like this.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1298649/
1.5/10

Perkin.