http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070723/
5/10
Perkin
Sunday, 10 March 2013
09/03/13 Nightbreed (1990)
Many years ago my brother came home with a copy of a book called The Nightbreed Chronicles. The book's a companion piece to the film, Nightbreed. The book was a beautifully shot, photo heavy, behind the scenes look at the film and, even better, had biographies of many of the fabulous creatures/monsters that feature in it. I was gagging to see the film after repeatedly reading the book.
The story (based on Clive Barker's excellent novella, Cabal) is about a chap called Boone who is something of a troubled misfit, he has reoccurring dreams that beckon him to a semi-mythical place called Midian where The Nightbreed live, left alone by the outside world and away from those who would do them harm. The 'Breed are a large collection of monsters, freaks and the unwanted. The Tribes of The Moon as they poetically call themselves.
Unfortunately, Boone's shrink is a rather dubious fella named Decker who's hobbies include psychiatry, tennis and murdering families. Although I'm not sure about the tennis bit.
Decker decides to frame Boone for the muder-y stuff, making poor Booney believe he is the one responsible for the slaughtering of families and he is blacking out the vile deeds from his memory. This prompts Boone to go on the run and seek out the refuge of Midian. He finds it, but is told he doesn't belong and is an 'innocent'. He discovers Deckers true nature, as Decker himself learns of Midian's existence which leads up to a confrontation at the gates of Midian between the creatures and the humans.
When this was released it suffered from heavy cuts to Barker's intended film, was promoted as something entirely different to what it actually is and received a heavy, grossly unfair critical bollocking.
Still, as I've always said, fuck professional critics. I find too many of them to be gutless careerists afraid to champion genuine creativity in favour of maintaining the status-quo, spoon-feeding us beige opinion on films created only for profit. Why have art when you can have money, eh?
Nightbreed is a brilliant, twisted film. The overt, obvious metaphor is the common one of man being the greatest 'monster' of all (Decker) and that we, humans, will always fear and eventually destroy those that are different to us, even when they mean us no harm.
Excitingly, lots of extra footage, long thought lost, was recently rediscovered and has been shaped into 'The Cabal Cut' which is much closer to Barker's intended film and has spent the last year or two being played at film festivals and one-off screenings around the world. The intention is to snowball enough interest to get this fuller version released onto disc. I flippin' hope it succeeds as I'm gagging to see it. There's a petition you can sign, as well as lots of Cabal Cut back story at the website http://www.occupymidian.com/ You should be a good egg and go and sign the petition. Ta.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100260/
9/10
The story (based on Clive Barker's excellent novella, Cabal) is about a chap called Boone who is something of a troubled misfit, he has reoccurring dreams that beckon him to a semi-mythical place called Midian where The Nightbreed live, left alone by the outside world and away from those who would do them harm. The 'Breed are a large collection of monsters, freaks and the unwanted. The Tribes of The Moon as they poetically call themselves.
Unfortunately, Boone's shrink is a rather dubious fella named Decker who's hobbies include psychiatry, tennis and murdering families. Although I'm not sure about the tennis bit.
Decker decides to frame Boone for the muder-y stuff, making poor Booney believe he is the one responsible for the slaughtering of families and he is blacking out the vile deeds from his memory. This prompts Boone to go on the run and seek out the refuge of Midian. He finds it, but is told he doesn't belong and is an 'innocent'. He discovers Deckers true nature, as Decker himself learns of Midian's existence which leads up to a confrontation at the gates of Midian between the creatures and the humans.
When this was released it suffered from heavy cuts to Barker's intended film, was promoted as something entirely different to what it actually is and received a heavy, grossly unfair critical bollocking.
Still, as I've always said, fuck professional critics. I find too many of them to be gutless careerists afraid to champion genuine creativity in favour of maintaining the status-quo, spoon-feeding us beige opinion on films created only for profit. Why have art when you can have money, eh?
Nightbreed is a brilliant, twisted film. The overt, obvious metaphor is the common one of man being the greatest 'monster' of all (Decker) and that we, humans, will always fear and eventually destroy those that are different to us, even when they mean us no harm.
Excitingly, lots of extra footage, long thought lost, was recently rediscovered and has been shaped into 'The Cabal Cut' which is much closer to Barker's intended film and has spent the last year or two being played at film festivals and one-off screenings around the world. The intention is to snowball enough interest to get this fuller version released onto disc. I flippin' hope it succeeds as I'm gagging to see it. There's a petition you can sign, as well as lots of Cabal Cut back story at the website http://www.occupymidian.com/ You should be a good egg and go and sign the petition. Ta.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100260/
9/10
That's the title, in case you'd forgotten from just now.
Not exactly a children's film. Unless they're really odd kids.
"The first rule of Tie Club is: We don't talk about Tie Club."
"The second rule of Tie Club is: wear a tie."
Whilst napping in the straw, Boone had his 'Riverdance dream' again.
This is Peloquin. He's in the film. He's fucking ace!
Singles night in Croydon: Disappointing.
Would. In that 'sexy hedgehog' kinda way.
Looks like a VW pendant. Probable Beastie Boys fan.
Anal suprise! #Viz, Up The Arse Corner#
"I love this wallpaper!" *points*
"Fries? Aah, go on then."
Baphomet. He's, like, boss of the Nightbreed. I bet they all have nicknames for him behind his back. Like "Jazz Hands" and "Glowstick".
This is how most babies look to me.
Croydon, yesterday.
Perkin.
Saturday, 9 March 2013
08/03/13 End Of The World (2013)
TV film about some electric asteroids bombarding Earth and the small group of nerds that work out how to save the planet.
First half is much better than most of the 'Sy-Fy originals' eforts, but the last 30 minutes really drag.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2139851/
5/10
"Nearly there, keep going"
Good face.
.
Perkin.
Friday, 8 March 2013
06/03/13 Movie 43 (2013)
A mostly shit film with surprisingly well known acty types slumming it in some very poorly written comedy sketches.
The Catch.
Kate Winslett goes on a date with Hugh Jackman. His bollocks are on his throat. That's it, that's the joke. Seems to go on for about twenty minutes after the joke's got boring.
Homeschooled.
Sometimes funny, sometimes shite.
The Proposition.
Man is in a new relationship. The woman wants him to shit on her as a declaration of love. A bit funnier than it sounds. The car accident is a highlight.
Veronica.
Young woman who looks old goes shopping and talks to her ex.
iBabe.
Who would've thought the rumours about Richard Gere and the hamster would be the second most embarrassing thing he's attached to. Fucking awful.
Superhero Speed Dating.
Meh.
Machine Kids.
Could've been funny. Isn't.
Middleschool Date.
Girl gets her first period. Total lack of humour ensues. I start to consider Al Qaieda having a fair perspective on Americans.
Tampax.
For fuck's sake, the Airplane films were more sophisticated than this.
Happy Birthday.
Cunt from Jackass kidnaps a midget for the now-fat Stifler. Shit.
Truth Or Dare.
The one with the joke.
Victory's Glory.
The one that tries weakly to be clever. Fails.
Beezel.
Shit.
So, in conclusion, this is a terribly written collection of almost universally unfunny short films that makes you feel sorry and embarrassed for everyone involved.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125/
2/10
The Catch.
Kate Winslett goes on a date with Hugh Jackman. His bollocks are on his throat. That's it, that's the joke. Seems to go on for about twenty minutes after the joke's got boring.
Homeschooled.
Sometimes funny, sometimes shite.
The Proposition.
Man is in a new relationship. The woman wants him to shit on her as a declaration of love. A bit funnier than it sounds. The car accident is a highlight.
Veronica.
Young woman who looks old goes shopping and talks to her ex.
iBabe.
Who would've thought the rumours about Richard Gere and the hamster would be the second most embarrassing thing he's attached to. Fucking awful.
Superhero Speed Dating.
Meh.
Machine Kids.
Could've been funny. Isn't.
Middleschool Date.
Girl gets her first period. Total lack of humour ensues. I start to consider Al Qaieda having a fair perspective on Americans.
Tampax.
For fuck's sake, the Airplane films were more sophisticated than this.
Happy Birthday.
Cunt from Jackass kidnaps a midget for the now-fat Stifler. Shit.
Truth Or Dare.
The one with the joke.
Victory's Glory.
The one that tries weakly to be clever. Fails.
Beezel.
Shit.
So, in conclusion, this is a terribly written collection of almost universally unfunny short films that makes you feel sorry and embarrassed for everyone involved.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125/
2/10
Perkin.
Monday, 4 March 2013
03/03/13 Decay (2012)
Thimble-budget swot-horror about things going bollocks-up at the LHC, resulting in zombies turning up at the world's biggest science tube.
I'll fill the rest in later as I'm off to work.*
*Sadly not at some massive tribute to the Half Life games.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello again, it's now the next day so I'll finish this.
Anyway, film was made for £2000 by lowly physics students and is free to download or stream at www.decayfilm.com
No one involved had made a film before and, yeah, it does show in some (most) of the acting and the pacing could be tightened, however, the camera work is excellent, the effects are OK, using the actual CERN/Hadron Collider as the location is very cool and the blonde girl looks great running around in a vest.
Judged against actual films with budgets and a half decent crew, this wouldn't score highly, but as an effort made by a group of absolute amateurs, learning as they go along, and putting it out there for anyone to watch free of charge makes it a commendable effort. Good on 'em!
Although I was hoping that a fully armoured robo-Hawking would turn up at the end with shoulder mounted gun turrets and be all, like, "Yo in my house now, zombie bitches!" *Blam! Blam!*
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2523692/
6.5/10
I'll fill the rest in later as I'm off to work.*
*Sadly not at some massive tribute to the Half Life games.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello again, it's now the next day so I'll finish this.
Anyway, film was made for £2000 by lowly physics students and is free to download or stream at www.decayfilm.com
No one involved had made a film before and, yeah, it does show in some (most) of the acting and the pacing could be tightened, however, the camera work is excellent, the effects are OK, using the actual CERN/Hadron Collider as the location is very cool and the blonde girl looks great running around in a vest.
Judged against actual films with budgets and a half decent crew, this wouldn't score highly, but as an effort made by a group of absolute amateurs, learning as they go along, and putting it out there for anyone to watch free of charge makes it a commendable effort. Good on 'em!
Although I was hoping that a fully armoured robo-Hawking would turn up at the end with shoulder mounted gun turrets and be all, like, "Yo in my house now, zombie bitches!" *Blam! Blam!*
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2523692/
6.5/10
"Five more minutes looking for the God Particle, then it's an afternoon on SexyTube"
Science nap!!!
"You said I could type!" *Sulks*
"'Ello, Terry. How you been?"
"Not bad, Clive. Yerself?"
"Aye, mustn't grumble."
Perkin.
02/03/13 Dead Man's Shoes (2004)
This is the third time we've watched this since starting this nonsense fifteen months ago, so read the other reviews. When a film's this good, it deserves frequent repeat viewings.
It's a near flawless masterpiece.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419677/
10/10
It's a near flawless masterpiece.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419677/
10/10
Perkin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)