08/06/13 Pain And Gain (2013)

Take a real-life murder case and turn it into a knockabout slapstick comedy in the way only a fuckbag like Michael Bay can.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1980209/
4/10

Perkin.

07/06/13 V/H/S/2 (2013)

Sequel to V/H/S which, like the first, is released on DVD. 

Four short films with a fifth, wraparound, section. The middle two films, A Ride In The Park and Safe Haven are the highlights, Safe Haven, where a documentary crew visit an Indonesian cult HQ is by far the best.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2450186/

6.5/10

Perkin.

02/06/13 The Quick And The Dead (1995)

If viewed as a traditional western with the usual themes of revenge, redemption and lawlessness, it's pile of shit.

However, if viewed as a cartoonish pastiche of gunslinger flicks, with pop video visuals and ADD editing, it's still a pile of shit.

However, quality issues aside, the biggest worry is the impression that Leonardo Di Caprio and Sharon Stone do of each other in the film. The resemblance is very strong, which could result in a potentially embarrassing trouser alarm.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114214/
3.5/10

Leonardo Di Stone

Sharon Caprio

"Mr Blumenthal says mix with tomatoes and olives and pan fry for twenty minutes"

Old time diseases include: Consumption, Dropsy, Rickets and Head-Gap

Relaxing between takes with a quick litre of gin.

An Elephant on water skis. Obviously.

Perkin.

02/03/13 Spirit Trap (2005)

I hate British attempts at yank-style teen-horror, it never works. This film suffers from many of the failings that typify the misery of such efforts: bratty behaviour, terrible acting, piss-poor script, dull pacing, a token yank, weak characterisation, Billie Piper's head.

Some sort of ouija board mishap results in a house full of twats getting spooked. Ends.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419160/
2/10

Anagram of: Is Tit Parp. Much better.

Perkin.

02/06/13 The Last Exorcism Part Two (2013)

Even lastier!!!

Total bumwater. which is a shame as the first one is very, very good and much better than you'd expect. Shame.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2034139/
2/10

Perkin.

02/06/13 The Wind That Shakes The Barley (2006)

The Irish and the English kill each other, then the English fuck off out of Ireland, so the Irish kill each other.

Ken Loach has got a real bonk-on for filming scenes of dialogue between people in drab buildings.

Still, excellent film, even if the trousers look very itchy.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460989/
8.5/10

Perkin.

01/06/13 Nailbiter (2013)

Like a remake of The Descent but on a Lidl budget and based in a cellar rather than a cave.

And not very good despite starting well. Which is a shame as we enjoyed one of the writer/director's previous films.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2122424/
4/10

Perkin.