Oh for
fuck's sake, MORE fucking zombie nazis?
Decent
production values only go so far when it comes to covering the sins of a film.
This one suffers from being tediously derivative and, even less forgivable,
really fucking boring.
Aside
from the Dead Snow films, which buck the trend by being ace, the whole zombie
nazi thing was pretty tired thirty years ago, to still be using it now is just
piss.
Alright,
it's my choice to sit through this shit, but I've been watching horror films
longer than most of the fuckers making them now have been alive and I carry on
doing so for those rare times you find a gem. To make a zombie film worth
watching it has to be novel, fun, scary or, preferably, all three. This was none
of those.
I'm
currently at a train station. In Britain our trains have a habit of breaking
down.
Someone
gets on a train, let's call them Geoff. A passenger falls ill a few minutes
into Geoff's journey. The train breaks down on a rural line. The ill passenger
is infected, starts biting other passengers who also rapidly turn and the
remaining 70 minutes of the film is claustrophobic, panicky carnage as the infection spreads along the train, people using whatever is available to them to barricade and fight against the rail zombies.
There you
go, I've just tapped out that shit in two minutes after using my location for
zombie-film inspiration. It's not great, but it'd be a zombie film that
wouldn't involve fucking nazis.
BTW, the
twist at the end would be Geoff and the remaining survivors manage to get the
train moving. They rocket down the line, eventually applying the brakes when
reaching a station. The train has
arrived at East Croydon. Geoff gets back
on the train as he'd rather face the zombies.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4117510/
Croydon/10
Perkin.
