07/07/15 Zombie Massacre 2: Reich Of The Dead (2015)

Oh for fuck's sake, MORE fucking zombie nazis?

Decent production values only go so far when it comes to covering the sins of a film. This one suffers from being tediously derivative and, even less forgivable, really fucking boring.

Aside from the Dead Snow films, which buck the trend by being ace, the whole zombie nazi thing was pretty tired thirty years ago, to still be using it now is just piss.

Alright, it's my choice to sit through this shit, but I've been watching horror films longer than most of the fuckers making them now have been alive and I carry on doing so for those rare times you find a gem. To make a zombie film worth watching it has to be novel, fun, scary or, preferably, all three. This was none of those.

I'm currently at a train station. In Britain our trains have a habit of breaking down.

Someone gets on a train, let's call them Geoff. A passenger falls ill a few minutes into Geoff's journey. The train breaks down on a rural line. The ill passenger is infected, starts biting other passengers who also rapidly turn and the remaining 70 minutes of the film is claustrophobic, panicky carnage as the infection spreads along the train, people using whatever is available to them to barricade and fight against the rail zombies.

There you go, I've just tapped out that shit in two minutes after using my location for zombie-film inspiration. It's not great, but it'd be a zombie film that wouldn't involve fucking nazis.

BTW, the twist at the end would be Geoff and the remaining survivors manage to get the train moving. They rocket down the line, eventually applying the brakes when reaching a station.  The train has arrived at East Croydon. Geoff gets back on the train as he'd rather face the zombies.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4117510/

Croydon/10

Perkin.