Stick to the books, Steve.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091499/
4/10
"Oh, lord, no! Won't somebody think of the melons! Why!? WHY!?"
"Shush woman! I'm a melonphile, this is heaven! Sexy melon jackpot!"
"Hot exposed melons?"
*Wanks furiously*
"Are you Jeremy Clarkson?"
"Yes."
"Why are you wearing that bright green Tshirt?"
"It's a tribute to the fallen melons."
"You cunty gobshite."
"Which one of you melon-fucker perverts ordered a crate full of Dutch children?"
Perkin.
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