11/10/14 Half Nelson (2006)

Ryan Gosling takes drugs, does some teaching and looks over there a bit.

Well acted, not much happens.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468489/
5/10

Podd.

23/07/13 Only God Forgives (2013)

Lots of arseholes are wanking their chins over the over the incestuous sub-text, character development and supposedly 'dream like' visuals in this film. The translation is that everyone seems to walk around very fucking slowly, as if they're holding in an angry mud-biscuit. Kristen Scott Thomas briefly talks about one of hers sons having a big cock and Ryan fucking Gosling does his now very familiar acting 'thing' of not talking much, using a singular facial expression to convey every emotion/physical sensation and 'looking over there a

bit'. I've seen vegetation with greater range.

Frequently during this tedious, pretentious, shit-biscuit of a film, we get a POV shot from Gosling's character as he looks down at his hands and forearms. I frequently do this as well:

Total fucking bumwash.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1602613/
1/10

Perkin.

27/06/12 Stay (2005)

Ewan Kenobi gets a fat head, looks like Eddie Izzard and talks to some mopey brat who's planning to top himself. It's all a dream and stuff. Bob Hoskins appears in knitwear. Ryan Lyndhurst Gosling is in it. Everyone loves him, although he's toilet.

Due to a smaller budget, their next adventure was 'Ewan and Charlie Ride Over A Bridge'*

Old men with an evil deathbaby in a bag can be fully trusted.

'Arold Shand gets a nosh.

Probably Ryan Gosling.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371257/

3.5/10

Perkin.

*They'll still have a support team of 20 people in five Land Rovers as they're such carefree adventurers!