07/04/14 Sweeny 2 (1978)

Bloody wish I was a plod in the '70s, the job appeared to basically be drinking, driving cracking cars at high speed (probably between pubs), lots of casual sex, occasionally punching someone and then drinking some more.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078351/
7/10

"That's it son, you're pipped!"

"Second floor: women's clothes, homewares and yellow Cortinas."

"What you wearing?"

"Brown. Everythings... brown."

"Mmmm, yeah, talk brown to me."

This was voted London's most glamorous building in 1978. Shove the Gherkin and the Shard up yer arse!

"Bloody hell, Jack! What's with all the carrots?"

"You'll see."

"Pull over, Maurice. It's time for some fun!"

"I can't, I'm engaged to Big John."

"You know he's a male prostitute? Collects his takings in a shoe box."

My dad had a Maxi when I was a kid. Comfy old motors.

"Time of death? Quarter past lollipop."

"Been a good week."

"Welcome to Shed Club. First rule of Shed Club is buy a shed.

...And a green jacket."

I'm not saying the police were more right wing in the '70s, but this was Walthamstow nick's racial crime incident room.

British cars built in the '70s were not of the highest quality. This is the rusty result of one afternoon's rain on new cars.

And this is the result of a 5mph crash.

Hitler looks very disaproving of this, doesn't he? Like a really angry uncle. 

"Ich bien disaproven schnell!"

This was probably a kid's show back then. 

DCI Perkin.

16/11/12 The Sweeny (2012)

The TV show this 're-make' got its name from suffered from occasionally terrible acting and limited imagination on the part of the location scout, however it had a grimy realism to it that still hasn't been equalled on British copperplod TV.

This film might have well been set in space, such is its realism and relation to the TV show. Having said that, a film called 'Space Regan' could've been awesome. Especially with a CGI reanimated John Thaw telling Moon-crims to "Shut it!"

Most unlikely of all is the fact that we're asked to believe that the stunningly attractive, 30yr old Hayley Atwell is having a passionate affair with the 55yr old Ray Winstone, a man increasingly looking like an angry, bloated pink version of Morph.

Winstone's partner, thankfuckfully in just the working sense, is Carter played by baby faced Plan B.
By baby faced, I don't mean he looks young, I mean it looks like he has an actual babies head.
Also, he has the most hypocritical line of the film when he says "Speak English, motherfucker".

The film does look impressive for its budget.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0857190/
2.5/10

Perkin.