07/04/14 Sweeny 2 (1978)

Bloody wish I was a plod in the '70s, the job appeared to basically be drinking, driving cracking cars at high speed (probably between pubs), lots of casual sex, occasionally punching someone and then drinking some more.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078351/
7/10

"That's it son, you're pipped!"

"Second floor: women's clothes, homewares and yellow Cortinas."

"What you wearing?"

"Brown. Everythings... brown."

"Mmmm, yeah, talk brown to me."

This was voted London's most glamorous building in 1978. Shove the Gherkin and the Shard up yer arse!

"Bloody hell, Jack! What's with all the carrots?"

"You'll see."

"Pull over, Maurice. It's time for some fun!"

"I can't, I'm engaged to Big John."

"You know he's a male prostitute? Collects his takings in a shoe box."

My dad had a Maxi when I was a kid. Comfy old motors.

"Time of death? Quarter past lollipop."

"Been a good week."

"Welcome to Shed Club. First rule of Shed Club is buy a shed.

...And a green jacket."

I'm not saying the police were more right wing in the '70s, but this was Walthamstow nick's racial crime incident room.

British cars built in the '70s were not of the highest quality. This is the rusty result of one afternoon's rain on new cars.

And this is the result of a 5mph crash.

Hitler looks very disaproving of this, doesn't he? Like a really angry uncle. 

"Ich bien disaproven schnell!"

This was probably a kid's show back then. 

DCI Perkin.

26/01/14 Villain (1971)

What do you get if you cross:

Vincent Cassel

With:

Dot Cotton?

Answer:

This bloke. Now known as Vincedot.

Anyway this is a surprisingly obscure film about a shady cockney bummer (For non Brits: criminal, London based homosexual) who shows his affection for people by punching them, as well as punching people he doesn't like, and does a bank job with some of his chums. Including Vincedot. Above average, but not great. Lots of odd accents.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067952/

5.95/10

Mark1 Ford Capri and clothing brought to you by 1970's fashion brand House of Brown.

"Blimey! It says here that in 43 years a tubby man will mock this film on a personal home computer unit."

"Crivens! So it does!"

"Would you like a sausage? I've got plenty."

A Rover P5b (hooray!) driving through one of Croydon's 'Gardens in Bloom'.

Think of your own caption for this brilliant acty-face.

Perkin.