07/11/14 Return Of The Living Dead 2 (1988)

Much more fun than the third one, closer in tone to the silliness of the first. Plot and acting are total cockwash, but the camp, practical, puppetry of the effects are great.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095990/
9/10 (effects) about 4/10 for everything else.

"Have you met the wife? Gives great head!"

Elbow Lad was a popular disease in the '80s.

"Dan, stop! There's someone watching."

"Well let's give 'em a good show!'

"Bloody hell, Bill! What are you so afraid of?"

"What year is it?"

"1988"

"In that case, communists. And women."

"What do you mean, over? Is it the age difference? Have you met someone else?"

"Yes, I'm afraid there's someone else. Good bye, Stephanie."

"Is it done? No more living a lie?"

"The bitch is history."

Am I Breaking Bad?

What would make this dull brown van more exciting?

A dull brown stripe down the side. Apparently.

I like the wheels though.

Ian McShane.

A brighter Croydon for everybody!

Perkin.

02/05/14 Way Of The Wicked (2014)

Not yet released, presumably because the makers watched it back after finishing it.

Vinnie Jones is poorly cast as some loving dad who's (possibly, can't remember) a cop. Problem is, Jones has a manner and face reminiscent of a punch and so when he's spouting dialogue like:

 "I love you, precious daughter. Here, have five ponies. You're as delicate as a cloud."

It sounds like his intention is:

"I'm going to smash your eyes off with a brick and kick you under a van."

It also has Christian Slater looking unhappy.

He's probably a bit skint these days.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2483208/
2.5/10