10/04/14 Shutter (2004)

Starts off pretty well, but goes a bit boring. Some genuinely spooky moments before it plays out though.

More important than any of that though, is the fact that the co-director has the brilliant name of Parkpoom Wongpoom. Playing Scrabble in Thailand must be great. Or possibly a right bastard.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0440803/
6.5/10

Perkpoom.

09/04/14 In The Blood (2014)

Popular punchalist Gina Carano plays someone who hits people to find out where her missing husband has gone.

At one point she holds a baby to prove she's still maternal, womanly and soft. Then she hands it back and punches some more people.

Shit, but enjoyable shit.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2101570/
6.5/10

Perkin.

08/04/14 Q The Winged Serpent (1982)

Men who look like Super Mario get eaten by a rubber dinosaur.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084556/
5.5/10

"Massive eggs really excite me. I'm off to the loft for a wank"

"Mmmmnng! You dirty, eggy slappers!"

"Gary, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to work dressed as a sausage. You should see Desmond, he's going as an owl."

"Alright, Des?"

"Hello, Tim."

"Hahahaha! Owl suits crack me up!"

"LOL! Owls and general other stuff!"

"Yeah!!! Do me roughly in front of the tiny policeman!"

"I will not fail you, Captain!"

*Strides off purposefully*

"Now, my son, go! Go and mime. Mime like you've never mimed before!"

I'm off...

Perkin.

07/04/14 Sweeny 2 (1978)

Bloody wish I was a plod in the '70s, the job appeared to basically be drinking, driving cracking cars at high speed (probably between pubs), lots of casual sex, occasionally punching someone and then drinking some more.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078351/
7/10

"That's it son, you're pipped!"

"Second floor: women's clothes, homewares and yellow Cortinas."

"What you wearing?"

"Brown. Everythings... brown."

"Mmmm, yeah, talk brown to me."

This was voted London's most glamorous building in 1978. Shove the Gherkin and the Shard up yer arse!

"Bloody hell, Jack! What's with all the carrots?"

"You'll see."

"Pull over, Maurice. It's time for some fun!"

"I can't, I'm engaged to Big John."

"You know he's a male prostitute? Collects his takings in a shoe box."

My dad had a Maxi when I was a kid. Comfy old motors.

"Time of death? Quarter past lollipop."

"Been a good week."

"Welcome to Shed Club. First rule of Shed Club is buy a shed.

...And a green jacket."

I'm not saying the police were more right wing in the '70s, but this was Walthamstow nick's racial crime incident room.

British cars built in the '70s were not of the highest quality. This is the rusty result of one afternoon's rain on new cars.

And this is the result of a 5mph crash.

Hitler looks very disaproving of this, doesn't he? Like a really angry uncle. 

"Ich bien disaproven schnell!"

This was probably a kid's show back then. 

DCI Perkin.

07/04/14 Tucker And Dale Vs Evil (2010)

The end drags a little but otherwise this is a fab, silly horror comedy that's actually funny and stuff.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1465522/
7.8/10

Perkin.

06/04/14 Phantasm (1979)

Not as much fun as I remembered. Still, Angus Scrimm is definitely one of film's more curious looking fellows. And that's a great name, Scrimm.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079714/
5/10

"How was dinner, Angus?"

"Delightful."

"I could paint a line and use you as a sun dial."

Hate to make a tragic man comment, but this Plymouth Barracuda gives me a bonk-on.

"Release my monkeys of pleasure."

Perkin.

06/04/14 X-Men: First Class (2011)

Prequel about people with odd abilities. Michael F. Assbender has a great scene in a bar. Kevin Bacon is eeeevil.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1270798/
7.7/10

Perkin.

Eeeevil.