07/04/15 Frenzy (1972)

Pretty sure it's illegal to say anything negative about any Hitchcock films. Admittedly, I haven't seen many, pretty much just this and Psycho. Psycho was excellent, this was fuckin' bumwash. Shut up.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068611/
3/10

London. Before it became the arsehole's themepark it is today.

"What's that word, Miriam?"

"Barnacle"

1970's man, modelling the standard combination of shirt, tie, brown things and alcoholism.

"Must you watch me eat, Barnsworth?"

"Yes. Late at night, I also watch you sleep. Sometimes I stroke your hair."

"Cauliflower!!!"

Did all British men look like this in the '70s, or was this guy in every film made back then?

Perkin.

27/04/14 Tokarev (2014)

Not yet out, but might be on certain popular streaming video sites.

Not just terrible in its own right, but Wigolas Cage's pretend hair was distractingly mental. At times it looked like it was drawn on with a marker pen, at others it was like some odd jet-black, synthetic mass that appeared to be both wispy and thick at the same time, resembling some kind of gothic candyfloss.

Anyway, it's awful.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2401807/
1/10

Hair.

Hair and face.

Ed China.

This hair is more organic that Cage's.

"Cheese, anyone? Cheese? Before I put it back in the fridge?"

Perkin.

18/04/13 The Hounds (2011)

About as much fun as a frozen piss lollipop.

92 minutes of bored that involved some people who appear to have never even driven past an actor, going into the woods whilst something involving men with stubble also happens. Should be sealed in a symbolic concrete arse for eternity.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935909/

1/10

"My tiny hands make this glass look huge. Can I borrow your hair?"

"Yeah, bitch! Fuck wit me, I pop a cap in yo ass!"

Possibly me watching this film.

"Gary, my eyes have disappeared!"

"Don't worry, Jennifer Massive-eyes has a cameo coming up, she can lend you some."

"Hello. Jennifer Massive-eyes talking."

Perkin.

13/03/12 Miller's Crossing (1990)

A Cohen brothers film that's more famous than Buddah.

Gabriel Byrne is a fella with a hat who seems to be the oddly morally ambigous centre of a world full of twisted morality.

Marcia Gay Harden (Heh heh heh heh!) has a hairstyle that grows at strange angles.

Someone on IMDB describes this as a thoughtful gangster film, I'd agree. It's also stunningly shot. However, like all Cohen films, it's not quite the masterpiece people claim it is.

No Country For Old Men was proper bollocks.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100150/

7/10

                                                                    Perkin.