A girl is travelling across America with her mum for agoraphobia treatment when their car is held up by gunmen for reasons that aren't particularly clear but we weren't particularly watching as the film's pretty dull. The moral of the story is agoraphobia specialists should understand their subject better and do home visits.
There's likely a previous scathing Film Plop review but we folk at Plop Towers are apparently the only people on the planet who believe this film to be a sack of overrated old balls. In the fog of meh Heath Ledger's Joker is entertaining in a hammy way but Christian "Whispering Makes Me Intense" Bale's Batman makes me want George Clooney to cape up again. Although Batman & Robin was nothing special it didn't take itself too seriously and it didn't have the entire world think it was a masterpiece of cinema. This film lasts for fucking days and although I was only semi watching Batman doesn't seem to actually feature that much. Does anyone genuinely think the Nolan Batman films are amazing or is it just because an iPhone app said they should? And what happened to Robin anyway? Not even a zero hours contract for the little fella?!
Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy accidentally shoots girl in the leg with a crossbow (as you do). Boy and girl are in his posh family home when it's raided by crim types. Not badly acted (especially by the standards of the old pony we watch) but beige.
If Hollywood is the
western world's city of films, then London must be a small, distant village.
Every village needs an idiot.
Anyway, this is a
Danny Dyer film.
I'm trying to picture
his face, but all I'm seeing is A pint of lager wearing a West Ham shirt, with
twenty Bensons floating in it as it swaggers around telling people to 'Leeev it
aaaaht, Shirley' and other such rubbish.
I dunno, the film's
actually got an interesting idea going on and I'd be lying if I said it didn't
hold my attention. So, yeah, not bad.
Some, critics have
bigged this film up as a bit of a masterpiece.
Here's why it's not:
The plot. Two
brothers grow up in a small town, the younger one is sensitive and upon
reaching adulthood, goes of to live in the big city. The other, a rather
lesser-witted fellow, stays behind and makes a living as a goon for the local
returns and infiltrates the gang in an attempt to extract dummo from its
clutches. Along the way there's the occasional shooting and beating.
The main activity of
the gang of bad guys appears to be, well, just that, 'Grrr, we're baddies! Be
careful around us!'
Is there anything in
that plot which isn't straight out of some piss-poor Stevan Seagal bollocks?
This doesn't even have the comedy value of that mumbling, tubby pensioner
pretending to beat up people much younger than him.
The acting. I think
Anton Yelchin has been very good in everything I've seen him in, certainly the
ONLY thing of merit in Terminator Salvation. However in this he spends most of
the film squeaking a few lines of dialogue and looking like he's about to cry.
The guy playing his brother is less like a realistic portrayal of someone with
a limited IQ, and more like someone doing a prolonged playground 'spazz'
impression. Vincent Donofrio's gang leader lacks any real sense of menace and
seems rather portly and camp, like a redneck version of Uncle Monty from
Withnail And I.
I think the relationship
between the brothers is meant to be akin to Steinbeck's Lenny and George,
including the sense of trying to avoid inevitable disaster, but instead... Fuck
all this, the film's shit.