Sunday, 17 November 2019

14/09/19 Night Hunter (2018)

In his radio review of this, Mark Kermode opened with "Night hunter, which is a preposterously terrible thriller..."

He could've stopped there, but as he's one of those people who talk about films for a living, he rattled on for another five minutes.

The opening description is entirely fair, but, conversely, is what made us want to see this. Should have just taken his word for it.

2/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3sd5_OAtT8

In case you wanna hear his thoughts yourself.



08/09/19 The Furies (2019)

Australian film which is like a cross between Friday the 13th and Battle Royale, but actually better than you'd expect from that description.

No classic, or even greatly memorable, but definitely more fun than the majority of such efforts.

5.95/10


08/09/19 The Go-Getters (2018)

Ace Canadian comedy about a grubby prostitute and grubbier alcoholic trying to raise the $98 they need to get a bus out of town, away from their stained lives and onto something better at a relative's country home.

Much better than that makes it sound.

8/10




07/09/19 Satanic Panic (2019)

Silly, enjoyable nonsense about a pizza delivery lady abducted by a cult as a prop for their big ceremony.

Sort of a bit Rosemary's Baby with jokey bits.


06/09/19 Assimilate (2019)

Based on what I say every flippin' day on my drive to work.

*Unlocks car*

*Gets in*

*Starts engine*

*Sees the time*

"Arse, I'm late!"


Oh, what a funny fellow I am.

Anyway, if I remember, this was a half-decent Body Snatchers cover version.

7/10 or something.


06/09/19 John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Like the hip young internet folk of fifteen years ago, I'm gonna use a webcomic to review this film. A 'Plop first, here it is:



Seriously, fuck this film and every knuckle-breathing fucking moron who claims it's worth seeing. Utter, utter dogshit.

0/10


06/09/19 Creature (1985)

Spaceship, alien monster, crew killed, ends.

So many films made in the '80s were set in the future, so many films made now are set in the '80s. I'm the first to call out the bollocks of that decade, and collective false memories we seem to have about it, but at least the films back then were a little more, I dunno, exploratory? Not just in the literal sense in this one's case, being set in space, but films in general seemed to have a greater range of themes?

No, that doesn't sound right either. Level playing field, perhaps? Now, anything that isn't from fucking Marvel Studious or released with huge Netflix promotion seems to get overlooked. Whereas back then, a well placed poster in a VHS rental shop could (locally at least) set a film on fire.

No, not really sure what I'm on about here. Difficult to articulate a vague thought very well. Well, I can't today it would seem.

But, yeah, it's a silly space monster film. If that's your thing, you'll probably like it.