Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Crossing Point (2016)

Remember when Channel 5 first started, it'd put on a generic action film at 9pm every night that you'd never heard of before?
Bit like one of them.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3027716/
5.4/10

Perkin.

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I streamed this at work. I think I might hate films now.

Perkin.

The Transporter Refueled (2015)

This film makes the Fast & Furious franchise look like Adam Curtis documentaries.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2938956/
2/10

Perkin.

Hard Tide (2015)

Small time crook finds himself looking after a child. If this was an American film, Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller would probably discover some sort of emotional loveliness and give up their criminal ways by the end. 
Thankfully it's British, so instead of that fluffy arse-wash, lots of people call each other 'Cunt!' in alleyways.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3116054/
Not too bad/10

Perkin.

Red Dawn (2012)

Due to a shortage of John Deere baseball caps and cowboy boots, North Korea decides to invade rural America.
Mirroring the sweat-shop practices of their Far East invaders, the American nation rely on children to fight back.


Have you ever seen the 1984 original? It's a terrible film, sometimes hilariously so. Out of all the films ever made with the title Red Dawn, it's still the better one.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234719/
Oh, come on!/10

Perkin.

The Adderall Diaries (2015)

Twat writes books for a living. Works out he's a twat and the world doesn't revolve around him. Becomes bit less of a twat. But still a twat.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1735907/
5.5/10

Perkin.

The Witch (2015)

Think we somehow managed to miss this off last month's 'Plops.

Anyway, in the olden days, some northern people move to America and bicker a lot about the bible and goats. Thankfully some people from modern times were there to film it.


Think that's how it works.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4263482/
4/10

Perkin.