Not yet out, but might be on certain popular streaming video sites.
Not just terrible in its own right, but Wigolas Cage's pretend hair was distractingly mental. At times it looked like it was drawn on with a marker pen, at others it was like some odd jet-black, synthetic mass that appeared to be both wispy and thick at the same time, resembling some kind of gothic candyfloss.
Anyway, it's awful.
Hair and face.
This hair is more organic that Cage's.
"Cheese, anyone? Cheese? Before I put it back in the fridge?"
Made in that era when most people had just about heard of the internet, but no one really knew much about it, so screenwriters would slap in words like 'mainframe' and 'computer log on' and hope they'd be future proofing their script long enough to ensure a profit.
Anyway, a serial killer who chooses his victims by stealing address books and killing the people in them, dies whilst inside a hospital scanner thing and defies every known law of physics, biology and electricity by climbing into the new fangled exciting interwebnets to stalk his next victims via microwaves, computers, dishwashers, plugs and all that stuff.
It's fantastically arse.
Loads/10 (In a rubbish way)
"Attractive women in my area wanna meet me? brilliant!"
White people. Terrible, really.
"What is this magic speaking noisebox?"
"It's a phone, you bellamy!"
"I don't understand."
This is my control centre that prepares me for 'sexy time'. Once I flip Activate, prepare yourself!
"I have a better basic understanding of science than the writers of this film."
Twenty years ago, these graphics were amazing*
"I still don't get this thing. Does it be magic?"
'My Conjoined Ethnically Different Mini-Twin' was a low point for '90s sitcoms.
One of the increasing number of zombie films that try and do the socio-realism thing. It kinda does that bit fairly well, it's just the rest which is a bit arse. The acting and dialogue ranges from competent to making your face hurt.
Johnny Knoxville dresses up as an old man and plays pranks on unsuspecting public peoplefolk. The most entertaining part is when he throws money at an eight-year-old transvestite boy who is stripping on a stage.
And that, dear reader, is the most worrying, netpolice-alarm-triggering sentence I've ever typed.
This had great potential to to be a high-chuckle bumwater classic. Sadly it makes the fatal mistake of trying to be an actual film. A double mistake when you consider the evil alien pod-monsters look like bipedal scrotums.
"I've told you before, my land is not for sale, now leave!"
Film about a young girl who runs away from a summer camp to star in sordid bongo flicks, and her stuffy, repressed dad who goes and looks for her. Surprisingly bleak and bare film, no one comes out of it looking particularly good. The acting and soundtrack are both excellent.
This poor man just spent fifteen minutes reading comments on YouTube.
Bloody hair like that should get you burnt at the stake.
"Hello, I phoned earlier, I'm here to photograph your children. I'll need a warm towel and some onions."
"They serve tea, comfortable seating and a children's play area. Perfect!"
"Yeah, it scored highly in the Mumsnet reviews."
Is it just me, or does this guy look like a righ fucking wrong 'un?