I'll whizz through these remaining 'Plops as I wanna ensure they get listed under the correct month. Really important for a stupid film blog with three or four occasional viewers.
The guy who directed/produced this has made a string of mini-budget action films, (with the modesty of a pocket money Hitchcock, normally casting himself) the general quality reflecting the cheapness, but you pretty much know what you're gonna get.
Yeah, it's shit, but there's probably many more dishonest ways to pass the time.
Mini-budget Brit horror about a bunch of bad actors who agree to live in a castle for a month and guinea-pig some new medicine. Turns out the people who invited them there have other things in mind. Evil things.
Anyway, it's total Eartha Kitt until the last twenty minutes when, surprisingly, it turns into a pretty good little monster flick, enough so to win me over and give an approving nod.
You wouldn't know as you wasn't there to see me nod, but I totally did.
Ever notice how Will Smith does two types of films?
The first type are the serious ones where he doesn't smile and normally has a bad disease or something, the other ones are where he talks quickly, drives a fast car and appears to live in some cretinous shiny world of bollocks.
More a romance film with some horror, than a horror film with some romance although enough of both to satisfy fans of either.
I thought the last film from the Writer/directors, Resolution, was a steaming coil of boring, and went into this expecting more indy hipster dullery. Pleased to say I was very wrong and this flick's excellent!
A troubled Yank lad realises that he has nothing to keep him in his home town, or even country, and so decides to jump on a plane and find a better life in Italy. He spends some time getting drunk with some Brits (well, we're good at it) then finds a job on a farm gathering up apples or something. He meets a young lady, and they rapidly fall for each other. Only problem is, she's a little different to most. To say anything more would give too much away, but I promise you this is very good.
The acting and script are sharp, the locations mesmerizing, the humour's excellent and the speech at the end, summarising the beauty, fragility and brevity of life is as good as I've seen in anything.
Yes, I'm supposedly a grown-up and I wanted to type that. LOL etc.
Anyway, this is one of those films where a couple go on a camping trip and it all goes a bit bollock shaped. Unlike most, it's actually very good. A bit like an updated version of the '70s film Long Weekend, but with more bear.
Better than we
expected film about some mercenaries who are sent into some secret experiment
tunnels to find some young folk who are half human, half space rock.
Apparently some years
ago a meteorite fell onto Russia or Poland or somewhere, and it contained DNA so
some nutty doctor injected it into some embryos to create the hybrid(s) of the
The boy and girl spaceboulder people have since done a full rude and by
time the mercenaries get there, she's expecting a pebble. The delivery goes a
bit wonky, the manrock decides this has made him grumpy and chooses to escape,
killing quite a few people on the way out.
This is much better
than my sarcasm suggests. Although the 'military team discover a bio-weapon'
thing has been done more times than I've had crisps (I do like crisps), this
one is well made and isn't just people with guns walking down corridors which
most films of this type. The acting's good enough, the effects are impressive,
and thankfully fairly subtle, and the (unlikely) story is played out well
enough to not be laughable.
Also called The Crawling Eye. Which kinda gives away what the monster that's been killing people in a mountain resort looks like. A big Octopus/Eye hybrid. Made of cardboard.
British people who aren't children might recognise Warren Mitchell, best known for playing Alf Garnet. When this film was made, he was 32 years old. Seriously, this is him, on the left, at thirty-two years old, on the pull with a mate who's probably in his mid-twenties:
I assume he's supposed to be playing older, but blimey, he had a tough paper round!
Anyway, the film's silly old arse about some giant monster eyeballs killing people up a mountain. That's probably enough to tell you if it appeals.
"Me? Bobble hat. You wearing the leather ear-tits?"
"Sure am, buddy!"
Being a Citroen, this probably fell over or exploded after this scene was filmed.
"Dude! You seen this shit? Watch what they do with that cup!"