A young woman ends up quadra-spazzed on a life-glug after being in a bus accident.
Her dad's one of the head fellows at some company that does things with nano-tech future gizmos, so rather than leave her completely mash potatoed, he injects her full of magic computer stuff that makes her well again and enhances her physically.
As in she runs better, needs less sleep, heals quicker and stuff, not, like, a boob job or something silly.
Anyway, it's a fairly slow moving film, thoughtful rather than full of cyborg Terminator action.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is now doing a reverse Liam Neeson. Neeson started off a serious, credible
actor who, later in life, became an action film star in a series of mostly
terrible films where he played someone called, like, Growly Punchfist and
struggled with a convincing American accent.
Schwarzenegger, a man
who's spent his career apparently struggling with his own accent, started off
playing physically huge death machines, normally called something like Maddox
Grenade, and was never looked upon as someone with acting skills beyond his
formidable physique. Now though, with this film and the recent 'Maggie', he
appears to have learnt something about acting. Mostly, keeping things quiet and
Is this a good film?
Yeah, sort of. The
fact that it's based on horrific true events feels a little uneasy and
exploitative, but that is something of a redundant outlook if you consider the
history of films. From pretty much day one they've used true life events as
inspiration for what we watch. Also, context is the key to how appropriate
something is; slapstick musical about Peter Sutcliffe would be a difficult
watch, but a drama highlighting the effects of his insane actions could be a
Anyway, this films
stays very much on the safe side of anything that could be considered
exploitative and was actually much more watchable and involving than I was
expecting. No masterpiece or anything, but pretty good.
Or possibly total
arse-water and I was just in a generous mood that day.
I had high hopes for
this as Ben Wheatley's last two films, High Rise and A Field In England, where
such total dickwash.
Certainly better than
both of them but, for a chap with obvious creative insight, it felt flat and
dull to me. A formulaic deal-gone-wrong shooter where the novelty is the
gunfight occurring in the (relatively) enclosed space of a (actually very
Worth a watch, but
certainly not the return to early form I hoped for.
A couple of pieces in
The Guardian praised this film as being feminist and aspirational, as it has a
powerful central female character.
Meh. It's a bloody
Wonder Woman film, not exactly throwing itself in front of the king's horse, is
it? Fucking hell, are things that bad and the bar so low that such mediocre
output is seen as ammunition in the battle for equality? I hope not.
That aside, if you're
12yrs old, of either gender, you'll probably enjoy this a lot. If you're an
adult, you might not. Especially if you're a grumpy balding man in his forties.
Slightly better than
Prometheus, but that film was a total mud-biscuit and this is only a very small
amount better. Also, this film suffers from a shite ending that bashes away
much of the small superiority it does have.
Guy Pierce's brief
cameo at the start is so bad I had to remind myself I wasn't watching some Fast
Show style parody. And Micky F. Assbender, who's being praised up to the
nipples for his role in this, is like a fucking tree made of ham. Seriously,
his attempt at playing sinister is laughable. Odd given his obvious talent as
Oh yeah, and some
fucking aliens turn up doing all their usual shit.
Reminds me of a
thought I once had; do zombies still poo?
I mean, they're
reanimated dead folk, so many functions would cease, or operate at a lower
level. But they still eat people. Sometimes, it would appear, they eat a vast
quantity of a person in one go. However, when was the last time you saw a film
like this, or an episode of The Walking Dead with a zombie squatting down in
the background crimping off a length?
It's just bloody
unrealistic is what it is.
The concept of a
zombie apocalypse, though, is well within the realms of reasonable possibility.
mountain bike racers go to Chile for some big mountainy bikey event.
find themselves involved in what at first appears to be a crime scene when they
stumble across an injured fellow being pursued by angry locals.
Turns out it
something a bit different to what they thought as events take a turn for the
strange and it becomes a sorta cover version of Blair Witch and The Thing. But
not as good as either. Not bad at all for a cheapy though.
Obviously I only
include the first Blair Witch in that.