Has the style and feel of a TV movie, specifically one for a TV station called 'Shit Films'.
Two kindly folk get murdered at their desert motel/petrol station/diner, leaving their two orphaned sons to take over the business. Ten years later, Dennis Hopper and Lara Flynn Boyle turn up to stay the night. This place is so remote, they might well be the first customers since the murders a decade before.
The younger son was blinded in the attack that killed the parents and spends his days touching rabbits and stealing keys, the elder son fills the months by sometimes wearing a hat. Both of them decide that they wanna do feely stuff with Boyle, until it all gets a bit murdery.
Fuck kevlar, apparently a white T-shirt will keep you alive after four bullets to the chest.
Robert Englund plays a fella with a mildly confused accent who works in a cinema and decides to kill some annoying people.
Low budget, ropey acting, terrible script yet still watchable, especially if you're in the mood for an undemanding horror flick that's reminiscent of stuff that was pumped out by the bumload back in the '80s.
After watching the Jake West documentary, I thought I'd check his IMDB page to see what else he's been up to as me and Pod have always enjoyed his feature films. Someone we sorta know has worked with him and said he's a jolly decent fellow, so he gets an all-round Film Plop thumbs up.
Anyway, as some promo piece for a recent Frightfest, he filmed a short parody of Escape From New York, had a look on YouTube, and there it is. Although obviously made on the quick, it's fun with a few good in-jokes, the Mayor's earrings being my favourite.
The -not strictly necessary, but still very welcome- sequel to Jake West's 2010 Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape. This one's a bit more detailed than the first film's overview, with in-depth interviews with some of the people who were arrested for possessing, copying and sometimes dealing the films on the banned list.
For Brit film fans of a certain type and age, there's some nostalgia gold in this.
Thank golly we would never again have to suffer under a Tory government who would try and impose their morally superior control over the media us delicate plebeian ingrates can enjoy. All that dangerous, unregulated 'esoteric content' is out there for us to enjoy, unfiltered and free to view anonymously without anyone registering collective or individual dissenting opinions.
Eh? What's that now?
Anyway, this documentary is ace. I got a copy as a birthday present from my brother, signed by Jake West and Marc Morris. Nice one, S! :)
You seen the first Taken film? This is basically a remake, but set in some alternative America where large posh hotels can get shot to wank on a sunny afternoon and no one thinks to call the police. Silly sausages, the police are normally quite interested in all the crime stuff.
A youngish documentary maker's wife dies. As a committed, even enthusiastic, atheist he believes her journey to have been an entirely flesh based one with no afterlife to progress on to.
Just to make sure, he decides to dabble with the dark areas of spirituality, inviting demon wranglers to do their best. Predictably enough, it goes bollock-shaped and he becomes the organic host to some otherworldly nastiness.
Possession flicks aren't exactly short on the ground these days, but this is very good. Well scripted, well acted, spooky and, er, possession-y.
I now know that American wrestling is 100% legitimate and all accusations of acting are groundless and unfair. How did I come to this conclusion? Well this film is made up of professional wrestlers playing themselves and they fail to pull that off convincingly, so I can only assume the ring theatrics are born of authenticity.
Yup, the film's shit. I watched it mostly 'cos Roddy Piper, so brilliant in They Live, is in it. As shit as it may be, it does have an honesty -it's crap, camp nonsense and doesn't pretend to be anything else- that films with a thousand times the budget, generous shooting schedules, actual actors and a script, never will. I'd rather watch this than the next Avengers film.
So yeah, it's shit but honest.
"I am a wrestler, my opponent for this match is wall!"
"What do you think, Darling, Italy next Summer? The south western coast is a delight in July"
"I am a wrestler, I lost my last fight against wall. My comeback match is against new opponent, Mud."
"Hi! Welcome to Croydon Nando's. Our special today is arm."
Film version of the Jonestown thing even though Ti West, the writer/director, has claimed the story is unrelated to any actual people or events. Considering some of the dialogue is near verbatim to speeches given by Jim Jones and 900 people died, a third of which were children, that makes Mr West a bit of a cunt in my book.
Still, excellent film though and Gene Jones (I'll hazard a guess at saying no relation to Jimbo) is bloody superb playing the leader of the settlement of glassy-eyed nutbags.
Thinking about it, I might start a commune/cult. None of this wacky death pact nonsense, just everyone sitting around doing sex and Playstation games.
Anyone who reads this shit is likely to be aware that Robin Williams killed himself this week, allowing newspaper columnists a great opportunity to declare their (previously unmentioned) lifelong fanship, filling their articles with Twitter quotes from people who once spent some time in the man's company and TV channels to fill their schedules with whatever films of his they have the broadcast rights to.
Seemed like a nice guy, but I never met him myself so I dunno. As for the film, it's pretty woolly, undemanding stuff but it does take an admirable, defiantly neutral position, presenting everyone involved in the war as equally flawed and human. Excellent soundtrack as well.
When the original Total Recall came out 24 years ago I tried watching it three times. I fell asleep each time. An ironically resolute title for a film with such powerfully narcoleptic effects.
Assembling a mental composite from my three attempted viewings, I decided it was shit. I finally saw it again about fifteen years later and confirmed it.
Starts off like a predictable, formula spooky house story, then, about thirty minutes in it starts throwing up surprises and turns into something much better than expected. Doesn't go into the lazy splatter horror that the beginning suggests, instead putting some effort in and developing a nice creepy tension.
The scene where the entity first reveals itself is particularly eerie.
The TV series was great for the first two series, shite for the third, then the first film managed to recapture some of the fun. This was like the third series.
We watched this in possibly the world's most middle-class cinema. Top of their snack board list was 'Hummus with a warm flatbread'. In an act of class rebellion, I bought a large popcorn and a fizzy pop. Sure I picked up a slight look of elitist disgust from the cashier. They can put their pretentious food stuffs in the boot of their Range Rovers and drive them up each others arses.
Some young people dumb enough to trust a lorry driver get eaten by half-arsed vampires.
Come on, we all know the score. Trust a lorry driver and you'll die, it's only the method of dispatch that varies.
I was in a bank about a year ago, a lorry driver was in there applying for a loan. Instead of pretending to be a normal, financially responsible person like most of us do during such applications, he was talking with great enthusiasm about his rifle and its "half mile kill distance".
Anyway, yeah, the film's alright. Better than many low budget horror efforts.
Five mini-horrors, each one based around one of the five main senses.
The first one, 'Smell' is enjoyable and splatty. The middle three: Sight, Touch and Taste are all pretty average but the final one, Listen, is ace. A slightly bonkers found footage style effort about a bunch of young fellas in an editing suite listening to a song that induces violent madness. Repeated listens seems to increase the severity of the lunacy, turning people into manic savages. A kinda '28 Plays Later' if you will.
Having said that, if I was forced to listen to Capital Radio, Radio 1, Heart FM or any of that shit for prolonged periods, I'd probably be inclined to gouge peoples arms out and kick off their kneecaps. Awful shit that reassures musically undemanding people that they're still terrible humans.
Ranging between 2-8/10
Humourless but good looking and well acted western.
Jason Issacs plays Ol' Bonkers McPhee (or something) a wealthy, land owning preacher who hides a darker side. This is made clear at the start of the film when he stabs someone to death with a massive knife whilst babbling on about The Bible or somesuch.
He also kills the lovely humble farmer chap who lives next door so Mrs Humblechap solves everything with guns.
It is kinda cool to see a woman take the wronged/revenge role that's normally exclusively male, and do a good job of it.
Yeah, if you like westerns, this is definitely one of the better recent ones.
Have you seen any of the others in this series of films? Same as that. Second one's the best. Embarrassing to admit, but the 'Final' films do have a sense of creative fun that elevates them above most teen horror films.
Once again I've been slack in updating this pointless, barely read twaddle.
Anyway, Yank remake of a Mexican film. Like Cold In July (which I can't be bollocksed to go back and review now) it was made by Jim Mickle and Nick Damici who were responsible for Mulberry Street and Stakeland which are both cracking low budget horror films. Mulberry Street is doubly impressive as it managed to make a plot about zombie rat people a lot better than you'd think it'd be.
Anyway, the plot for this film is:
"What's for dinner, dad?"
Nom nom nom nom.
Also, here is a picture of a piglet dressed as Elvis that I saw on the interweblia networks