In The Dark Half (2012)

Made for TV spooker about 'umble poor Northern folk who are troubled by them thar new-fangled ghosts.

"Well, I said to 'im 'You don't wanna be messin' with nowt of that Alister Crowley nonsense. Get t'fingers burnt'"

"Aye"

"Agreed, always been more of a disciple of the Sabbatic Goat meself. Know where you are with 'im"

"Aye."

Anyway, yeah, it was alright.

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1764645

5.75/10

Perkin.

Siren (2016)

Started off really well, one scene had us doing big laughs.

Doesn't maintain the fun and soon descends into horror film averageness. The short it's based on, from 2012's V/H/S is the better effort.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4667854
5.75/10

Perkin.

The Sweeny: Paris (2015)

So the sequel to the terrible 2012 film that was very, very loosely based on the '70s TV show is, somehow, based in Paris?

As a friend said "Eh? Styrofoam cups of wine and a 2CV crashing into cardboard boxes?"

Ha!

But no, sadly not that stereotypical or entertaining. Generic ballsack that would leave an undemanding idiot bored.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4232610
2.5/10

Perkin.

A Very Harold And Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

We laughed at this more than we expected.

We have become basic people.

I can't even give it a score due to my shame.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1268799

The 2000th Film Plop!!!

Let's celebrate!!!

Right, that's enough fun, fuck off.

Black Mountain Poets (2016)

Whimsy, indie, dullness that middle-class people can chuckle at whilst wearing jumpers and feeling smug.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4222028
4/10

Perkin.

31 (2016)

Rob Zombie makes shit films.

Watch this, or any other film he's made, for proof.

Or, take my word for it and save yourself the arseache.

Feculent rubbish that comes off like the creation of a spoiled, unimaginative 12yr old who's written half a page of plot and stretched it over 100 minutes.

His music was dogshit as well.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3835080
1/10

Perkin.