27/04/13 The Last Stand (2013)

65yr old Arnold Schwarzenegger makes his unwanted return to films playing the sheriff in a small desert town who has to struggle with his creaks and groans and get back on form to fight off some drug-baddies who are passing through.

Yes, you could say this is the movie where Arnie spends 100 minutes polishing his rusty sheriff's badge.

Arple! Fnibb!

Anyway, it also has other people, explosions, lots of exclamation gear changes (when someone's driving a car and they change gear, for no reason other than to emphasise a point) a few jokes that work, massive flaws in logic and reminds us that there are no problems that cannot be solved with guns.

If there wasn't such a thing as weapon preparation montage scenes, I think popular American cinema would only have about five hours of film recorded in the last thirty years.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1549920/

4.5/10

"If you've recently created a hybrid of Nicolas Cage, John Travolta and Steve Buscemi, point to him now!"

Last Of The Summer Wine. Suicide pact finale. Many viewers surprised.

"If we go this way, we can stop here for ice cream!"

Niche smut presents: Basket fisting.

One of the 874 gear changes you can enjoy in this film. *Belms*

An everyday American going peacefully about his business.

"Are you laughing at my body fluid cleanup kit? I'm 65, my arse has packed up."

This guy wasn't in the film, he was in a documentary we watched recently. Just look at his name.

Perkin.