7am - Alarm
7.02am - Red wine and a baguette
7.50am - Surrender
8am - Try and drive a terrible French car to the shops for some wine.
8.05am - Abandon car after it breaks down.
8.30am - Lunchtime. Two bottles of red wine and assorted amphibian limbs.
2pm - Lunchbreak over.
2.10pm - Wear a beret.
3pm - Afternoon meal White wine and shelled molluscs.
8pm - Make fucking cracker of a horror film.
10.20pm - celebrate with wine and onions on a string dipped in some blue cheese shit.
10.55pm - Surrender.
11.04pm - A quick bottle of wine before bed.