Monday, 27 July 2015

24/07/15 Gymkata (1985)

Picture yourself as a high ranking decision maker involved in black ops during the cold war. There's a hostile, yet very strategically important, area that you think you may be able to convert to your way of thinking. Do you use:

A. Force? Send in a team of crack, shadowy elites to dispose of any obstacles and smoothly install a figurehead leader who plays for your team.

B. Financial incentives? A huge skip full of cash has universally persuasive powers. In the long game it will be a small price for a big advantage.

C. Co-operation? The offer of partnership and protection boosts the host nation's standing in the global arena and can bring all manner of economic/social opportunities.

D. A somersaulting 100lb dwarf in a Christmas jumper who can cartwheel and ponce about on a trampoline?

If you're lucky enough to have friends who enjoy watching terrible old shit for the unintentional humour with you, this one's a gem. Watching it on your own though, it's a bit of a drag.

"Falconry, Paul, is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you choose a bird, then you put on some protection, find a place in the countryside giver her a good workout."
"Tony, your a fucking prick."
"I... I know, Paul. I'm lonely."

Yup, definitely be my choice to infiltrate a hostile Asian nation.

"...But you may know me by my street name, G-Money Killa"

"Tokyo Drift, mate. Best in the series."

Forking nonsense.

"Hello, Keith."

"Welcome to the league of heterosexuals"


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