Picture yourself as a high ranking decision maker involved in black ops during the cold war. There's a hostile, yet very strategically important, area that you think you may be able to convert to your way of thinking. Do you use:
A. Force? Send in a team of crack, shadowy elites to dispose of any obstacles and smoothly install a figurehead leader who plays for your team.
B. Financial incentives? A huge skip full of cash has universally persuasive powers. In the long game it will be a small price for a big advantage.
C. Co-operation? The offer of partnership and protection boosts the host nation's standing in the global arena and can bring all manner of economic/social opportunities.
D. A somersaulting 100lb dwarf in a Christmas jumper who can cartwheel and ponce about on a trampoline?
If you're lucky enough to have friends who enjoy watching terrible old shit for the unintentional humour with you, this one's a gem. Watching it on your own though, it's a bit of a drag.
"Falconry, Paul, is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you choose a bird, then you put on some protection, find a place in the countryside giver her a good workout."
"Tony, your a fucking prick."
"I... I know, Paul. I'm lonely."
Yup, definitely be my choice to infiltrate a hostile Asian nation.
"...But you may know me by my street name, G-Money Killa"
"Tokyo Drift, mate. Best in the series."
"Welcome to the league of heterosexuals"