However, that's working on the assumption that anyone IS reading this old piss, which is doubtful. Anyway, if you are, and you're uncertain if you know this one, it's the horror film where people grow dicks out of their heads.
"Are you sitting down?"
"Nah, just fucking short."
"That's a shame. Still, I'm a lengthologist, I might be able to help"
"Really? Make me taller?"
"Yes, I've invented a bright green wizards hat which has the possibility of making you normal sized."
"I'll do it!"
"Hang on, half-pint! There's great risks involved. You have to be sure."
"I'm ready. It's worth the danger."
The National Lottery's attempt at sexing up the weekly draw was a dismal misfire.
"Yeah, I tried the green wizard hat. Gave me a splitting headache."
*Baddum*
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