08/01/15 The Car (1977)

Silly old toilet about an evil car that chases uncertain actors around a small town. Far more entertaining than it should be.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075809/
7/10

Seize the day!!!

Or, as I like to say, grip the horn!

Rapunzel, throw down your... Oh, nevermind.

The Car was played by Timothy Dalton.

No, not that one, a different Timothy Dalton. Don't be silly, you can clearly see it's not the James Bond Dalton.

"Here's that big picture of my clopper you asked for"

"Lovely, I'll hang it in the kitchen."

Perkin.

03/08/13 X Men (2000)

Hasn't changed since the last time we watched it.

Here's some more X Men I think should be introduced:


Sarcasto - Delivers devastating put-downs

Onan the Barbarian - A one-handed angry wanker

Papercut - Uses office stationary to lethal effect.

Keith - The world's most anonymous man, great for intel gathering.

James Bond - A middle-aged, English alcoholic, armed with an embarrassingly small 60yr old pistol.



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120903/
8/10

Perkin

03/11/12 Skyfall (2012)

James Bond still drives the same Aston Martin DB5 that he did fifty years ago, which means that all the films are set in the same world. That makes him about 90yrs old. Daniel Craig looks a good twenty years too young to pull it off.

No wonder this film goes to great lengths to point out that Bond's getting on a bit.

Xavier Bardem plays plays the baddie, Evilmonto Von Shirtlift. He has terrible hair, an uncertain accent and a face that looks like recently set insulation foam. He also enjoys using Peter Griffin's thinking grenades.

Far too long at 2hrs20mins, but some of the action scenes were excellent and it's the first bond film I've enjoyed in a long time. Also the first one I've seen in a cinema for 29 years.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1074638/
6.5/10

Perkin.

27/01/12 Dream House (2011)

The guy who plays James Bondmadeoutofwood moves into a nice house with Mrs WoodBond and two cherubic Bondlings. It's sort of haunted. Naomi Watts looks five years older than her daughter, wears brilliantly tight jeans and turns up with a big pot of stew. The considerate, neighbourly cow! How dare she!

Well acted but carved from a giant wax boulder of derivative.

5.8/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462041/

                                                            Perkin.